


The Bet

by So_binie



Series: THE [1]
Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Betrayal, Depression, Fluff, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Romance, School, Slight Mention of Rape, bet, selfharm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:21:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 37,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23251615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/So_binie/pseuds/So_binie
Summary: It was a stupid bet that started everything. Nobody thought it would led to so many unexpected things and changes.
Relationships: Baek Juho | Zuho/Kim Seokwoo | Rowoon, Kang Chanhee | Chani/Kim Seokwoo | Rowoon, Kim Inseong/Lee Jaeyoon, Kim Youngbin/Lee Sanghyuk | Dawon, Kim Youngkyun | Hwiyoung/Yoo Taeyang
Series: THE [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1719217
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this will be mostly Dabin, I'm just so soft for this ship ^^

Youngbin still didn't know if he should be happy about going to another school or not. After everything that happened he definitely didn't want to go to his old school anymore but dragging his younger brother into this mess made him feel guilty. He knew that it wasn't that easy for them to find new friends and after seeing how sad Youngkyun was when their mother announced the change he wasn't so sure that this was the best solution at all. He knew that it was his fault, that he shouldn't have been so naive but it was too late now. In less than 12 hours they would have to go to their new school and Youngbin was definitely nervous about it. He went to bed early, it was only 8 PM but he just couldn't fall asleep due to his nervousness. When he heard a knock on his door at 10 PM he wasn't really surprised to see Youngkyun standing in the doorway, silently making his way over to his older brother before he sat down on his bed.   
„Are you okay hyung? I'm really nervous" he mumbled and lay down beside his brother.  
„I am too Youngkyun-ah. I'm sorry that you have to do this" he replied, guilt taking over him again.   
„It's alright hyung. It's better this way" the younger sleepily replied before he yawned.  
„I feel bad for dragging you into this. It was my problem and not yours."  
„I was the one who begged eomma to transfer us to another school. I didn't want you to continue like this but I couldn't let you go alone. My friends weren't that great to be honest."  
„Do you think somebody will ever find out?" Youngbin suddenly asked, he just couldn't help but wonder about it.  
„Could be but I hope not. If someone will find out I hope they won't be telling the whole school."  
„Yeah let's just hope for the best" the older muttered and caught Youngkyun yawning again.  
„Can I stay here tonight?" the younger boy asked sleepily, rolling onto his side to get more comfortable.  
„Sure. Let's try to get some sleep" Youngbin replied and felt his nervousness subside. He knew that Youngkyun felt the same since they were closer than anyone else, not only brothers but also friends.

~

„Yah Lee Sanghyuk stop" Jaeyoon laughed while pulling him back down to sit down beside him.   
„So will you accept the bet?"  
„Of course. It's easy to find someone who's willing to sleep with me" he replied while taking a sip from his beer.  
„Remember no strings attached" Jaeyoon mentioned while looking at the boy beside him.  
„You should know by now that I never fell for one of my one night stands so why this time? Why haven't you guys thought of something better?" Sanghyuk pouted and grabbed the bottle of soju.  
„Because there are not many people left in school who you haven't slept with or who don't know your reputation. Good luck in finding someone hyung" Seokwoo simply replied and looked over to their younger friends who didn't seem exactly happy.  
„I just don't get why you encourage him to continue. He's already broken too many hearts" Chanhee replied, not wanting to be a part of this stupidity.  
„It's just a stupid bet Chanhee-yah" Sanghyuk laughed while taking another sip of his beer.  
„Maybe for you but not for the person who'll be willing to do this. It's always the same" the youngest replied while getting up, it was already late and he wasn't going to listen to this any longer.  
„Please wait" Seokwoo called after him, trying to get up and follow him.  
„I'll see you tomorrow in school" he simply replied as he left.  
„Is there something you want to say Taeyang?" Seokwoo questioned as he saw the look on the other's face, feeling irritated since Chanhee just left like that.  
„I think Chanhee is right. It's just not right to do this" he replied as he got up too.  
„Yah why are you guys so boring?" Sanghyuk questioned with a pout, meeting Taeyang's gaze.  
„I'll go home now" Taeyang simply replied and bid his goodbye before he left, only 5 people remaining.  
„Do you have someone in mind?" Juho asked while looking at Sanghyuk.  
„Maybe Chanmi but I don't know if she'll be as willing as others."  
„You'll get murdered if you do this. Her noonas are scary" Seokwoo said and Juho only nodded.  
„We'll see how it goes. I'm not stressed because of something like this" Sanghyuk simply said before downing the rest of his beer.   
„Guys I think it's best if we go home now. We still have school tomorrow" Inseong intervened and started cleaning up the living room knowing exactly that Sanghyuk was too drunk to do this.  
„Fine. I'll see you tomorrow then" Juho said as he got up, helping Inseong cleaning up before he left with Seokwoo in tow.  
„Make sure to get some sleep" Inseong said as he guided Jaeyoon to the door, only receiving a chuckle from Sanghyuk.  
„Ah it's really boring. They could have thought of something better" Sanghyuk mumbled to himself as he got up and walked towards his bedroom, not caring that the clock already showed that it was past 2 AM.


	2. 2

„Why did we do this?" Sanghyuk asked as he met Inseong and Jaeyoon in the classroom, his sunglasses still covering his eyes and the coffee in his hand was almost empty.  
„Because you thought it was a good idea to get drunk on a sunday" Jaeyoon groaned and lay his head onto the table, hoping the headache would quickly subside.  
„I've told you that drinking so much isn't a good idea" Inseong groaned and ran his hand through his hair, preparing himself for the task of babysitting at least 4 hungover people.  
„I'm hungry" Sanghyuk groaned and rested his head onto the wall, looking at his friends who also looked pretty tired.  
„Let's ditch school and get something to eat" Jaeyoon immediately suggested and was about to get up if Inseong wouldn't have held him back.  
„You'll be staying here. I'll go get you something" Inseong sighed and saw the happy look on both of his friend's faces.  
„Inseong hyung you're the best" they both called out as they were watching him leave.  
The oldest could only shake his head but nonetheless he couldn't hide his smile, he loved his friends even if they were bothersome and loud sometimes. He was on his way to the canteen when he bumped into someone, startled at the impact because he was completely lost in his own thoughts.  
„Ah I'm sorry" the other said and bowed to Inseong before looking around the hall again.  
„It's fine. Is something wrong?" Inseong asked as he noticed how lost he looked.  
„Actually yeah. It's my first day and I have trouble finding my classroom."  
„Which class are you in?" Inseong simply asked, a small smile on his face.  
„3-1" was the response which confused Inseong a bit.  
„You're a 12th grader too? It's unusual to see someone transfer during the year in this grade."  
„I know but I would have had trouble graduating from my old school. So do you know where I have to go?" he replied, flashing Inseong a nervous smile.  
„Ah sorry. In fact it's my own class so we can go together if you want but I need to go to the canteen first or else my friends will starve."  
„I'm fine with that as long as I'll be able to get there somehow."  
Without waiting any longer they started walking to the canteen so Inseong could buy snacks for Jaeyoon and Sanghyuk.  
„I'm sorry for not introducing myself properly" Inseong suddenly said as they were walking back to the classroom „My name's Kim Inseong."  
„Nice to meet you. I'm Kim Youngbin."  
„I think we'll get along pretty well. You seem to fit into our group of friends. You'll meet a few of them soon" Inseong chuckled, hoping that this would be really the case.  
„Ah that would be really nice. It's always hard to transfer in the middle of the year" Youngbin replied and Inseong could only hum in acknowledgment.  
With every step they took, Youngbin could feel his nervousness coming back. Feeling it in every cell of his body but he tried his best to stay calm and concentrated on the conversation with Inseong instead which helped until they arrived in front of the classroom.  
„Teacher will be here soon I think" Inseong said and smiled when he spotted her behind Youngbin.  
„Inseong I'm glad you took care of Youngbin. I'm sorry for not being here earlier" she said while jogging towards them.  
„I'm Mrs Jung, your homeroom teacher" she explained while smiling at the both of them, sending Inseong away first.  
„Is there anything I should know beforehand?" he nervously asked, relieved when their teacher just chuckled.  
„Don't worry too much, they are good kids even if Lee Sanghyuk is a bit of a troublemaker but since Inseong's taking care of him he's fine. Just try to relax and see how it goes, alright?" Mrs Jung said and Youngbin only nodded, following her into the classroom.  
„Guys pay attention. Please welcome your new classmate, Kim Youngbin. I expect you to make him feel welcome" she announced, not even surprised by the whispers and giggles in the classroom.  
„Please sit down back there" she told Youngbin and he only nodded as he sat down in front of Inseong, happy when he flashed him a smile.

The first few hours were unspectacular, the whole class was paying attention except a few guys who were sleeping including Jaeyoon and Sanghyuk. As soon as the bell rang everyone got up, loud cheers audible in the hallways as almost everyone was rushing out for lunch.  
„Is everything alright so far?" Inseong asked as he suddenly showed up beside Youngbin.  
„So far yes. It's just a bit strange being the new one you know?"  
„That's why I'm here. Also Jaeyoon and Sanghyuk aren't normally like this, they are just hungover" he complained and nudged them both in order to wake them up.  
„Ah hyung!" Sanghyuk shouted as soon as he felt Inseong shoving him and destroying his dream.  
„It's time for lunch sleepyhead" he groaned and hit his head before he did the same to Jaeyoon. The first thing Sanghyuk noticed when he actually opened his eyes and looked up was the new boy standing in front of him, nervously looking around the classroom. It was only a short moment when they glanced directly at each other but it felt like an eternity to Sanghyuk, noticing the other's soft blush before he looked away and in that moment Sanghyuk had a plan.  
„What about ditching those two and get something to eat? It'll take a while before Jaeyeoon hyung wakes up" Sanghyuk replied with a smirk and got up, scanning the new student from head to toe.  
„Unfortunately he's right. You should go with him" Inseong said and looked a bit apologetic as he smiled again.  
„Lee Sanghyuk, nice to meet you" Sanghyuk quickly introduced himself, extending his hand to formerly introduce himself.  
„Kim Youngbin, it's nice to meet you too."  
„I know this seems straightforward but do you want to go somewhere sometime?" Sanghyuk suddenly said as they were walking to the canteen, surprising Youngbin.  
„What?"  
„I know that it's weird but you seem nice and I think we could be good friends if we get to know each other better" Sanghyuk happily replied and smiled at the older.  
„Uh sure. When?"  
„Give me your number. I'll text you later" he said as he handed his phone to Youngbin, watching as the older inserted his number.  
„So tell me did you transfer because your girlfriend is going to this school?" the younger asked again as they were continuing their way to the canteen, too curious for his own good sometimes.  
It took Youngbin a second to think about his options, if he should just lie and fit in with everyone else or if he should just tell the truth. In the end he didn't want to start a friendship by lying.  
„No I'm not in a relationship at the moment. I just didn't feel comfortable at my old school anymore" he simply replied while receiving his food, waiting for Sanghyuk.  
„I understand but if you're interested in one of the girls here I'm happy to introduce you" he chuckled with a wink and started looking for their usual table.   
„Ah thanks but it won't be necessary I think."  
„That's fine with me too. So what do you think about the school so far?"  
„It's alright, still a bit unfamiliar but that'll change soon I think" Youngbin replied and Sanghyuk only nodded as he started eating.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just imagine long haired Youngkyun since I can't post pictures >.<

"Attention class. You'll have a new classmate from now on. His name is Kim Youngkyun and I expect you all to make him feel welcome" the teacher introduced as Youngkyun stood beside her with a nervous smile, he definitely stopd out amongst the other students with his long hair so he wasn't surprised to hear people already whisper. "You can sit there" she said while pointing to an empty space, bowing before he left to sit down. "Alright so we started analyzing a poem last week. Who wants to present their solution?" While they were continuing their lesson Youngkyun looked around the classroom, observing the students a bit. He felt completely out of place and hoped he would quickly make friends so he wouldn't be a complete loner. For now he could only listen to their teacher and look around a bit to try and memorize the other's faces. "I expect you all to finish your analysis until tomorrow. Chanhee could you please copy your notes for Youngkyun?" their teacher said at the end of their lesson, a boy with black hair only nodding as he turned around to look at Youngkyun. He felt like a complete outsider, hoping for the best as the boy in front of him stood up, approaching him. "I'm Kang Chanhee. Let's get your copies" a raven haired boy said as Youngkyun looked up at him a bit flustered, quickly packing up his bag as he stood up. "Thank you for helping me out. I guess I don't have to introduce myself." "It's probably rude to ask but why were you transferring in the middle of the school year?" Chanhee asked while they were walking to the printer room. "We moved here recently, that's why me and my brother had to transfer" he lied, feeling like this was the most believable lie. "Ah that makes sense. Does your brother also go to school here?" Chanhee continued asking, way more curious than Youngkyun first thought. "Yes he's in grade 3." "Ah a few of my friends are in grade 3" Chanhee mumbled and Youngkyun only nodded, relieved when they reached the printers. "It's not much to print so it won't take us long. Let's see if the others saved lunch." "The others?" Youngkyung asked a bit confused as Chanhee just looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Yes. Seokwoo, Taeyang and Juho are waiting for us. They are all in grade 2." "Us?" "Why are you so shocked? Aren't you happy that you've found new friends?" "Of course. I'm just not really used to it" Youngkyun replied and the younger just shrugged his shoulders before handing him his copies. "Come on, I'm starving and I hope they saved something" Chanhee complained as he left into the direction of the canteen. Youngkyun followed him silently, glad that he accepted him already and that he wasn't alone anymore. "Where have you been?" someone exclaimed as soon as they reached a table with 3 other people, Chanhee only rolling his eyes at him. "I've been showing him around. He's a new student in my class, Youngkyun" Chanhee introduced and sat down. "Uhm hi" Youngkyun mumbled as everyone was staring at him. "Hi nice to meet you. I'm Yoo Taeyang and this are Baek Juho and Kim Seokwoo" another guy with ash blonde hair introduced, a big smile on his face. "It's nice to meet you too." "So you're a new student here?" Taeyang asked and Youngkyun nodded as he sat down, retrieving the lunch his mother packed him from his backpack. "Yes we moved here recently." "Ah alright. If you need help here just ask me." "I will. So is there like anything special I need to know?" "Not really but be careful with Lee Sanghyuk. He's quite a player" the guy introduced as Seokwoo said before eating again. "Speak of the devil where is he?" the person beside Seokwoo, Juho, said as he looked around the canteen. "He's probably looking for Chanmi" Seokwoo mumbled and Chanhee only glared at him. "What?" Seokwoo asked as he saw the expression on the younger's face, trying to take his hand into his as Chanhee immediately pulled his hand away. "You know exactly what." "Guys don't fight. You're making a great first impression" Taeyang replied while looking at Youngkyun, Juho was the only one only concentrating on his food. "Don't worry my former friends were always bickering and I am too with my brother so it's not a big deal." "You have a brother?" Juho asked, suddenly interfering in their conversation. "Yes he's in grade 3-1." "Three of our friends are in the same grade" Juho remarked and Youngkyun only nodded, wondering if Youngbin already met them. "Is Sanghyuk one of them?" he curiously asked, wondering why they warned him. "Sarcastically yes he is. He's a good guy but be careful around him" Juho replied and Youngkyun only nodded, eating his lunch quietly again. "Chanhee-yah can we please talk?" Seokwoo said as he finished eating, a somewhat devastated look in his eyes. "Don't want to. Let's go back to class" he replied, his gaze on Youngkyun as he got up, waiting for the older to do the same. "See you later" Taeyang said as he watched the younger's leave, making Youngkyun feel a little bit nervous. "So how do you like them?" Chanhee asked, curious about his opinion. "I like them. They seem like a lot of fun" Youngkyun replied, startled when someone was calling after them. "Yah where's your protector? Have you two had a fight?" someone laughed, Youngkyun stopping in his tracks as he noticed that Chanhee wasn't by his side anymore.


	4. 4

When he was turning around he noticed the younger standing in the middle of the hallway as three guys approached him, smug smirks on their face.  
"You shouldn't act like a bitch anymore or else he'll leave you. You're seriously so ungrateful" the tallest of them laughed, getting closer to Chanhee.  
"I'm still wondering why he thinks you're so special. He's pretty but plain stupid."  
"Yah what are you doing" Youngkyun suddenly exclaimed as he walked up to them.  
"Who are you?"  
"That doesn't matter but I don't like how you're talking to my friend."  
Without thinking about it he took Chanhee's hand as he dragged him along with him into the direction of their empty classroom.  
"Chanhee you're crying?" he asked as he saw a few stray tears, the younger quickly wiping it away.  
"No I'm not" he sternly replied, new tears rolling down his rosy cheeks before he just sighed.  
"It's so complicated."  
"What is?"  
"Me. I always do or say things I don't want to but I can't help it. I always said things I didn't want to but it's how I am."  
"I don't really get you. What were they talking about?"  
"It doesn't really matter. Just forget it ever happened" Chanhee replied as he got up and left into the direction of the bathroom, Youngkyun just watching him leave. He only knew him for a few hours and there wasn't much he could do especially not since he didn't want any help. At least not from him, he thought. He was sitting at his desk for over 10 minutes when he decided to look after Chanhee, hoping he would be okay. The moment he stepped into the boy's toilet he could hear faint sobbing, knowing that it must be the younger.  
"If you want to talk I'm here" he said while approaching the last stall.  
"How do you know it was me?"  
"I just had this feeling. Do you want to talk about it?"  
"You wouldn't understand" Chanhee sighed and the older could only snort at that.  
"Says who?"  
"I just know it. Nobody understands."  
"You can try. I won't make fun of you I promise."  
It took the younger a few more seconds to open and leave to wash his face, trying to collect himself before talking to the older.  
"It's all Seokwoo's fault. He's always so persistent that's the problem."  
"Now I'm confused."  
"The guy outside, he was one of his best friends before he met us. I don't know why Seokwoo always asked me if I would go out with him like going to see a movie or eating" Chanhee explained, his cheeks slightly blushing as the story continued.  
"It's his fault for never giving up and now we're stuck here together. I know that I'm being mean to him sometimes but it's just how I am. I'm trying to protect himself from a stupid mistake."  
"So he's your best friend?"  
"Boyfriend" Chanhee mumbled with blushed cheeks, his eyes glued to the ground.  
"So Seokwoo and you are dating?" Youngkyun asked in disbelief, surprised that Chanhee was talking so openly about it.  
"If it makes you uncomfortable just ignore it, can you do that?"  
"No I'm just surprised that you're telling me. We've known each other only for a few hours."  
"It's nothing to be ashamed of, at least that's what Seokwoo says all the time" the younger mumbled while facing Youngkyun, a somewhat lost expression on his face.  
"It definitely isn't. My brother also had a few boyfriends before so don't worry."  
"So do you have a girlfriend then?" Chanhee asked and Youngkyun only shook his head.  
"No but it would be nice to finally have one."  
"There are a lot of nice girls so don't worry. We'll definitely find one for you."  
"Thank you. I really appreciate it" Youngkyun chuckled, the ringing of the bell startling him.  
"Time to head back to class" Chanhee sighed and left the toilet, Youngkyun following him as almost everyone was staring at them.  
"Chanhee can we talk please?" Seokwoo asked as they were passing by, grabbing the younger's arm to make him stop.  
"Not right now."  
"Can you stop being complicated for once?" Seokwoo exclaimed, clearly frustrated.  
"Fine we can talk after school" Chanhee replied and left him and Youngkyun standing in the hallway.  
"I'll better go too" Youngkyun mumbled, slightly awkward as he followed his new friend, surprised when he ran into his own brother a few seconds later.  
"Hey I saw you with Chanhee today. Are you two friends?" another guy asked, seeming way too curious.  
"Uh yes I am."  
"I'm confused now that he hasn't introduced you. I'm Lee Sanghyuk" he introduced and the younger froze for a second, remembering what Seokwoo and Juho said during lunch.  
"So you're a friend of Chanhee too?"   
"Of course I am. We were actually just searching for him to introduce Youngbin. He transferred here today" Sanghyuk rambled, amused by the fact that he didn't know that they were brothers.  
"Actually we know each other" Youngbin cut in, Sanghyuk looking at him confused.  
"We're brothers. We both transferred here today."  
"So he's Youngkyun?" Sanghyuk questioned and they both only nodded.  
"It was nice meeting you. We'll definitely see each other again sometime. Excuse me for a moment" Sanghyuk replied with a bright smile on his face as he saw a group of girls passing by.  
"You've made new friends already?" Youngbin asked, happy for his younger brother as he nodded.  
"Seems like we've both made the same friends at least they all know each other."  
"You know it doesn't have to be a bad thing. We'll meet at 10 in front of my car, alright?"  
"Of course. See you later hyung" Youngkyun waved goodbye while walking to his classroom, feeling even more relieved now that they both made new friends so fast already.


	5. 5

"Seokwoo-ah don't. He doesn't want to see you now" Juho replied while holding onto Seokwoo's arm.  
"Why do I always get rejected by my own boyfriend?" the slightly younger boy replied, looking at his best friend with an irritated expression, feeling like everyone was staring at him.  
"He's just not ready. He doesn't realize how lucky he is to be loved by you."  
"Don't start with everyone would love to date you, please not you too Juho" Seokwoo sighed and started walking back to the classroom, the older following him.  
"You know that it's true. Chanhee is the only one who'd rather live forever alone than to acknowledge that he loves you."  
"It's scary, you don't understand. How would you feel if everyone would judge you because of the person you love? It's not easy for him and neither for me but you can't understand" Seokwoo sighed, turning around to go back to the classroom.  
„Why? What happened to ‚We're best friends and we should always tell each other how we feel?' Seokwoo? I feel completely left out ever since you started dating Chanhee."  
„I'm really sorry that I'm trying to be a good boyfriend."  
„So in order to be a good boyfriend it's okay to be an asshole in front of your best friend?"  
„Maybe you should finally get laid in order to not cling onto me like that. We aren't kids anymore" Seokwoo replied, seemingly annoyed by his best friend's behaviour while he was still looking for Chanhee.  
„Seriously fuck you. I'm sick and tired of trying to make this friendship work while you only think of Chanhee, you don't even need me anymore" Juho accused him before storming down the hallway, not even caring about all the people staring and whispering.  
He was done with Seokwoo and how hard he tried with the younger while completely ignoring his best friend, always talking about his boyfriend whenever it was only the two of them. Despite his own feelings he always listened to him and even gave him some suggestions while completely ignoring his own heart breaking bit by bit. He knew that he would never have a chance with Seokwoo but he never expected for him to yell at the younger like that but he had enough. He just couldn't pretend to be fine anymore and lie right in front of his best friend.  
„Yah what's wrong? What happened?" Jaeyoon stopped the younger, curious as to why his usually calm friend looked so irritated and angry.  
„Seokwoo. I never thought he would change so much after dating Chanhee."  
„What exactly happened?" Inseong curiously asked, leaning his head onto Jaeyoon's shoulder as he was standing behind the younger.  
„I'm just done with him trying so hard and only focusing on Chanhee. He's always talking about him and saying that I would never understand how he's feeling. Ever since Seokwoo confessed he treated me like I wouldn't really exist."  
„He's just head over heels in love Juho-yah. He's still your best friend."  
„He isn't, he doesn't care about me anymore. He doesn't realize how much he's hurting me by loving someone else" he blurted out, only realizing after seeing Jaeyoon's raised eyebrow and Inseong staring at him with wide eyes.  
"Wait so you like Seokwoo?" Inseong asked confused and Juho felt his heart racing while panic was overcoming him, shaking his head while he suppressed the trembling of his legs.  
"No I don't but he's hurting me by spending so much time with Chanhee. He's my best friend and he still should be there for me when I need him."  
"You'll understand this when you start dating too. It's just so different when you have a boyfriend especially when he does need some more attention and extra care."  
"Chanhee doesn't even want his attention" Juho huffed, making the elders chuckle a bit.  
"Even if it doesn't seem like it Chanhee's a special needs kid." Jaeyoon replied making the younger shut down.  
"You all don't understand" Juho huffed before leaving for his own classroom  
making the older boys shake their head at his behavior.  
"Why is everything so complicated?" Inseong mumbled while standing up straight and following Jaeyoon.  
"I don't know but they'll sort everything out at least I hope so."  
"Yeah if not we have a massive problem. I don't want to see them fighting over such matters" Inseong sighed, hoping that they won't continue fighting over small things.


	6. 6

"You should stop acting like you don't care about me" Seokwoo mumbled as he approached the younger boy, not even surprised to see him sulking.  
"Who says I care about you?" he replied while leaning against the wall of the school gates, not much students around anymore.   
"Stop kidding yourself Chanhee. I've thought we're past the point of denial already. Do you know how tiring this is for me?"  
"You can just leave you know that."  
"I'm honestly very close to it. At least I admit to my feelings and try everything to make this relationship work unlike you" the taller groaned, not missing the puzzled expression on his boyfriend's face.  
"Go ahead then. You don't need me anyways" the younger countered, keeping up his cold facade.  
"Why do you always make everything so complicated? You've said that you love me so why are you denying everything right now? I'm not someone to play with and I seriously don't know how much longer I can keep up with you" Seokwoo  
exclaimed, angry at the younger and himself for snapping when he wanted to always be there for Chanhee and protect him.  
"Let's break up. It will be better for the both of us" Chanhee replied, trying to walk away as soon as he said it. The moment Seokwoo grabbed his shoulder and pinned him to the closest wall he felt all of his breath leave his body. It was the way the older was looking at him that made him speechless, trying to understand what those feelings were.  
"I won't give up that easily."  
"You deserve someone better. Someone who's not afraid of loving you."  
"Do you love me or not?" Seokwoo asked seriously, slowly leaning in closer.  
"Of course I do" Chanhee whispered and that was everything Seokwoo needed to hear, knowing exactly that his cold and distant demeanor was a result from his fear and insecurities.  
"Let's go back home and I'll cook something for you" Seokwoo softly replied as he stepped away, immediately taking the younger's hand into his own as he was blushing even more now.  
"It's too dark for anyone to recognize us" Seokwoo mumbled while walking, trying to reassure Chanhee as he was completely silent.  
"It's not that. I'm still mad at you because of the bet. You should have known better."  
"I know and I feel apologetic but we were drunk Chanhee. Also this should open his eyes."  
"Almost nobody says no to him. I don't know why every girl is willing to do everything for him" Chanhee mumbled and heard Seokwoo chuckle beside him.  
"I mean I understand why everyone loves you" he admitted and Seokwoo laughed even more.   
"What? You're like perfect in every way."  
"I'm not. I'm a normal person like everyone else but it's cute that you think like that" Seokwoo teased and the younger only pouted at him, glad that Seokwoo never gave up on him.   
"Does your mother know that you'll stay with me or shall I bring you back home?"   
"She knows" Chanhee mumbled shyly.  
"Chanhee why exactly do you care so much about the opinion of other's?" Seokwoo asked after they spent a few moments in silence, wanting to know what was going on in the younger's mind ever since they started dating.  
"I don't know. I just care about it alright?"  
"If someone would tell you to break up with me would you do it?" Seokwoo replied, catching the younger off guard.  
"I don't know, it depends" he mumbled quietly, not surprised when Seokwoo suddenly stopped.  
"Chanhee I love you and I've told you so many times already, are you still doubting me?"  
"Of course not. I'm doubting me" he exclaimed, feeling tears well up in his eyes as he stood across from the older only wanting to run away and hide.  
"I don't know why I just can't accept it but I always feel so insecure when I'm with you. Everyone wants to date you and I feel like I'm not worth it."  
"Chanhee stop talking like that. I wouldn't be with you if I wouldn't want to."  
"I know but my mind is telling me something different" he replied as he broke out in tears, feeling like the weak person he always believed he is. He always covered up how he really felt, acting like he was strong and didn't care much about others when he always had problems with his insecurities and anxiety and now he felt even weaker as Seokwoo was hugging him, trying to calm him down.  
"You should only listen to me" the older whispered into his ear, softly stroking his hair as he felt his own sadness washing over him. Ever since he was little he hated seeing people cry and even now he didn't really know how to deal with crying people, he only wanted to make other people happy.  
"Why is loving you so hard? Why am I always making things complicated?"  
"Chanhee please calm down. I promise you we'll work this out together, maybe we can see someone to make you feel better about yourself."  
"No please not. I don't want another therapy" he pleaded, looking at Seokwoo who was completely taken aback.  
"You had a therapy before?"  
"Not even one, that's why I'm acting so strong that my mother won't worry about me" he sighed and felt a little better when Seokwoo took his hand in his again.  
"Ok so I promise you no therapy. We can do this alone, I promise you."


	7. 7

"Hyung let's go home. I'm hungry" Youngkyun called as he saw his brother approaching, already leaning against his car.  
"Sorry for being late. Our teacher wanted to talk to me" he apologized as he unlocked the car, hoping the younger wouldn't be nagging too much during the whole drive home.  
"I think you should give me the car keys so I don't have to wait for you so long."  
"So that you can access my car anytime you want? Definitely not" Youngbin replied as he drove off.  
"Only 2 years left" the younger sighed as he leaned his head against the window, watching the buildings pass by. He thought about this day and honestly he was quite content.  
"Hyung be careful" he suddenly said, remembering what Chanhee told him.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Chanhee warned me about Sanghyuk. Just be careful" Youngkyun replied and the older immediately remembered what their homeroom teacher told him but he just shrugged it off.  
"He's pretty nice. Also I'm always careful"  
"Yeah that's exactly the reason why we had to transfer to another school" Youngkyun deadpanned, feeling like he crossed a line as soon as he said it.  
"You should definitely think more before you say something."  
"I'm sorry hyung, I didn't mean to" the younger immediately apologized but he knew he shouldn't have said that, he knew that he made a mistake and he hated the suffocating atmosphere he created.  
They didn't say one word after that conversation, Youngkyun immediately escaping the car as soon as it wasn't moving anymore, sprinting up to their apartment without waiting for his older brother. He did feel bad for his behavior, he never really fought with his brother as they were always very close and he certainly didn't know why he started the argument today. The only thing he knew was that he shouldn't act like this as a younger brother.   
"Youngkyun-ah how was school?" his mother asked as soon as she spotted her youngest son, surprised when she saw him passing by without another word.  
"Did something happen?"   
"I don't know. He was sensitive the whole drive home" Youngbin replied as he closed the door, trying to forget about the younger's comment.  
"So how was your day?"  
"It was alright, nothing special happened."  
"Are your classmates alright?"  
"They are pretty nice. Three of them already included me into their group of friends" he replied, relieved when a smile appeared on his mother's face.  
"I'm glad then. Are you hungry?" she replied but he only shook his head as he was leaving for his bedroom.  
"Thanks eomma I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow" Youngbin said, noticing how his mother only shook her head with a small smile.   
He still felt hurt by his brother's comment, hating to be reminded of his mistakes from the past who not only bothered him but also his whole family. He remembered the day when his father left because he was too disappointed in him, remembered his mother's crying and suffering after he left and Youngkyun's negative allegations. He was falling deeper into his own negative thoughts until his phone rang, signaling a new message.  
~Hey hope you didn't forget me. It's Sanghyuk  
•Of course not, you think I'm playing around?  
~Never. Anyways what are you doing?  
•Not much why?  
~I'm bored and I thought maybe you'd want to come over.  
•Now? It's already close to midnight.   
~Please? I really don't know what to do and I want to get to know you better ^~^  
•Fine send me your adress.

He already knew that this wasn't his best idea but he somehow couldn't say no, didn't want to say no when he thought about it. If he was honest he was bored too, having nothing to do and falling deeper into his depressive thoughts. He just wanted to have fun and forget about everything even if he may regret it later. Silently he packed a few things and left his room along with a note stating that they shouldn't worry about him. After making sure his mother and Youngkyun were asleep he grabbed his car keys and left the house as silently as possible, quickly entering Sanghyuk's address into his navigation system before driving off.


	8. 8

"Chanhee? Can I ask you something?" Seokwoo asked as he was sitting on his carpeted floor, chin resting on his knees as he watched the younger finishing his homework.  
"Hm?" the younger only hummed in response, not looking up from his workbook.  
"Why did you get a therapy? What for? And please don't say you don't want to talk about it. I only worry about you and want to help you."  
"Ugh fine" Chanhee sighed, closing his workbook as his eyes met the older's gaze.  
"I can't love and accept the way I am that's why the mobbing started and I got depressed. I can't think of myself as desirable or good enough, I feel like being a disappointment and a burden. I have an anxiety disorder which leads to various anxiety attacks without a real trigger. I'm just a complete wreck, that's why I don't want you to be in love with me."  
"You're not Chanhee. You're not seeing what I do. I would always chose you, no matter what. I love you and nothing can change that. It may seem hard but we can work on something to make you feel better, alright?"  
"There are so many things wrong with me, I just don't get why you are trying so hard" the younger sighed while breaking the eye contact.  
"Please tell me Chanhee. How is it possible to make you so doubtful about yourself and others? Who did this to you?"  
"It was me. I never liked myself and I often wanted to just vanish before all of this started" he defended himself, feeling his anger well up as his doubts and self-disgust rose inside him.   
"Do you think it's better if everyone stares at you whenever they get the chance to? I also have my doubts and worries but that's normal Chanhee. You shut people out without even trying to fight against your fears."  
"I know that I'm a coward but it's easier than to face it. It would be the best to stop trying so hard and just leave me alone" Chanhee sighed, not wanting to be in Seokwoo's way and completely destroy his reputation.  
"Seriously Chanhee you still don't get it. I'm so head over heels in love with you, just the way you are. I'm willing to do everything for you to feel better but you have to accept me and my love. Can you do that?" Seokwoo asked as he scooted closer to him, gently taking his hands into his own.  
"I don't know" the younger replied while casting his gaze off the older, feeling nervous with Seokwoo being so close to him.  
"I have an idea. I won't pressure you, if you say you need time alone I'm fine with it. If you say you need me I'll always be by your side. I understand that it's hard for you to accept this and trust me but let's work it out together. I feel happy when I'm with you and I don't want to loose my happiness. Are you okay with that?"   
"I guess so" the younger nervously replied as he slowly lifted his gaze up to look into Seokwoo's eyes.  
"Chanhee-yah can I ask you something?" he asked and the younger only nodded, feeling way too shy to talk.  
"If I said I want to kiss you right now would you allow me to do it?" Seokwoo carefully asked, immediately noticing the younger's blushing cheeks.  
"I n-never did this b-before" the younger stuttered, feeling completely embarrassed now.  
"It's nothing to be ashamed of. If you don't want to I'm fine with it."  
"I am curious but I'm also nervous."  
"How about we'll try and then you tell me if you liked it or not?" Seokwoo suggested and Chanhee shyly nodded, feeling his heart beating faster as Seokwoo scooted even closer, their knees overlapping now and Seokwoo now only inches away from him. Gently he removed one of his hands to place it on his cheek, softly rubbing his thumb over his cheekbone to calm him a bit down.  
"Just relax and enjoy it" Seokwoo advised as he leaned in even closer, Chanhee shutting his eyes tightly as he waited for the older to continue whatever he wanted.  
Taking one last look at the younger he also closed his eyes before overcoming the last few centimeters, carefully placing his lips over the youngers in a tender kiss. Experimentally Seokwoo started to move his lips, creating a slow and steady rhythm the younger surprisingly followed. It didn't last long but it was everything Seokwoo wanted and needed in this moment, happily embracing the younger after the kiss.  
"We can do it. Together" the older whispered into his ear before tightening his embrace a bit.


	9. 9

"Hey I'm glad you came" Sanghyuk spoke while inviting the older into the house.  
„Thank you for the invitation" he replied while scanning him from head to toe the same way the younger was currently checking him out.   
"Come in" Sanghyuk said with a sweet smile, his eyes not leaving the older as he stepped right beside him, both not able to keep their gazes to themselves.  
"I'm sorry for calling you over at such a late hour but I was really bored" Sanghyuk said as they walked into the spacious living room, making the older look around in awe as they walked through the mansion.  
"It's fine. I was quite bored myself".  
"So how about getting to know each other better? I'm curious" Sanghyuk said as he sat down on the couch, smiling at the older as he nodded at him to sit down beside him.  
"There's not much to tell about myself so I'll just start. I'm Lee Sanghyuk, my parents are basically living in the airports as they fly from one meeting to the other. I'm an only child and I love to hang out with my friends. Speaking of it, would you like something to drink?" Sanghyuk asked after introducing himself, not taking his eyes off of Youngbin.  
"I wouldn't say no" he replied, still a bit nervous as he watched Sanghyuk leave for a few minutes until he came back with a few bottles of soju and two glasses.  
"So tell me something about yourself" Sanghyuk said while pouring them a drink.  
"Well I have a younger brother, Youngkyun. We live with out mother, our father left not too long ago. Besides from that there's not much to tell" Youngbin replied, taking the glass from the younger as he thought about something.  
"So when is you're birthday?" Sanghyuk asked, already downing his second glass.  
"November 23rd" the older replied, forgetting to ask the other about it as well, only noticing as he continued to ask him more questions.  
They went on like this, asking each other questions in order to get to know more about each other, slowly but surely getting tipsy from the Soju they continued on drinking.  
"So when was the last time you slept with someone?" Sanghyuk suddenly asked, resting his head against the couch as he was sitting on the carpet besides Youngbin, both of them more drunk than sober.  
"It's been quite some time" the older mumbled, his alcohol tolerance the lowest of the two.  
"How about doing it? I'm in the mood" Sanghyuk suddenly suggested, turning his head to the side in the same moment as the older.  
"That wasn't a good joke" he criticized, not breaking the eye contact.  
"I'm not joking" was all the younger said, subconsciously moving closer before kissing each other. It wasn't slow or gentle, they were both driven by desire, resulting in a messy and hungry make out session.   
"Do you want to go to my bedroom?" Sanghyuk asked after some time, giving the older a few moments to breathe again as he nodded his head. Not waiting any longer the younger immediately got up after receiving the answer he wanted to hear, taking the older's hand into his as he lead him to his bedroom.  
They were both drunk, not realizing what exactly was just happening between them but neither of them wanted to let go of each other, getting drunk from the pleasure and each other.


	10. 10 {M}

"You're really not playing around, aren't you?" Youngbin replied with a small smirk, liking the low chuckle Sanghyuk let out as he slid up his shirt, letting his fingers move over his stomach.  
"Make yourself comfortable" Sanghyuk smirked as he continued to strip of the older's shirt.  
"I will" Youngbin replied, tilting his head a bit as he looked at the younger boy sitting on top of him.  
"You like to be commanded, being controlled and taken care of, right?" Sanghyuk suddenly replied with a smug grin, slowly lifting up his shirt before tossing it away  
"Actually I do. So can you even handle me?" Youngbin replied, leaning himself onto his elbows as Sanghyuk moved closer until their faces were only mere centimeters away from each other.  
"I can if you want me too."  
"Show me" the older replied, taking off his own shirt, revealing his tattoos and toned body, before looking back at the younger.  
„Don't you want to?" he whispered against Sanghyuk's lips, waiting for the other to reply.  
Instead of replying he felt the younger's lips on his own, moving passionately against his. He knew exactly that this was a mistake but he couldn't resist especially not since Sanghyuk wanted him too. It was the same mistake he already made once but right now he couldn't care less.   
Sanghyuk broke away from the kiss and pushed Youngbin down onto his bed, immediately starting to leave marks all over his neck, sucking onto the sensitive skin until it was a pretty shade of purple and blue, his fingers tracing along the outlines of his tattoos.  
"Let's just have fun and enjoy this" Sanghyuk whispered into his ear before he kissed him again, smirking into the kiss when he felt the older shiver underneath his touch. Age didn't matter in this moment and Sanghyuk knew that exactly.  
„How far do you allow me to go?" Sanghyuk seductively mumbled while he placed soft kisses along Youngbin's stomach, working his way up to his chest until he was looking directly into his eyes.  
Youngbin was shocked by the question, he never thought he would ask him, not when they already went this far and without really thinking about it he just replied „As far as you want."  
Smirking Sanghyuk kissed him again, trapping the older's lips between his while unbuttoning his pants, eliciting a moan from him. He could already hear his breathing getting heavier as he let go of his lips and completely directed his attention to his arousal.   
„We can still stop if you want" Sanghyuk said while playing with the waistband of his boxer briefs, teasingly brushing over the sensitive skin.  
„Don't" Youngbin shakily replied and took in a sharp breath when he felt the cold air on his heated body. It has been a while since he last was this exposed to someone, that he was intimate with someone but somehow it felt right when it was with Sanghyuk.   
Sanghyuk didn't want to waste any time, the sight of the older in front of him made him impatient so he quickly removed his own pants, sighing contently when he felt the tightness of the pants vanish. Without wasting any more time he opened the drawer of his bedside table and got out a bottle of lube and condoms.   
„Is this your first time?" he asked while picking up one of the condoms, his eyes meeting with the older's as he put on the condom with one swift stroke.  
„No. I'm not scared if that's what you mean" Youngbin replied while licking his lips, never once breaking the eyecontact.   
„Good because I'm not a patient person" Sanghyuk simply replied and coated his fingers in lube, immediately starting to prepare the older. He couldn't help but get even more excited when he heard Youngbin moan and feeling his body tense, he couldn't wait and started to speed up his movements a bit until he was too impatient and started to thrust into the older boy.  
„Yah Sanghyuk-ah stop" Youngbin growled out through clenched teeth, digging his nails into the younger's shoulder to stop him from moving. No matter how often he had slept with his ex-lovers no one could compare with Sanghyuk, he really was impatient and not quite gentle. Sanghyuk noticed the pain the older was in but he couldn't help but to get even more aroused, seeing Youngbin panting heavily while biting his lips had to be the sexiest thing he has ever seen and without waiting for the older to adjust he thrusted down the last bit until he was fully inside him. The short scream that escaped Youngbin's mouth was music to his ears and he leaned down to kiss him passionately, slowly moving a bit to pleasure his lust. He felt pure bliss and the gasps and moans he elicited from Youngbin made him move faster, pushing the older's knees up to his chest in order to thrust in deeper. When he suddenly heard him cry out and shiver in pleasure he knew that he hit his prostate, feeling him dig his fingers into his shoulders everytime he hit that spot again. Sanghyuk knew he was close and he could feel that Youngbin was too, the way his body shivered and his moans got louder he knew he wouldn't last any longer. He thrusted into him once again, hitting his prostate again as he cried out Sanghyuk's name while he reached his climax, making Sanghyuk shiver in pleasure. He felt his body tense up and the way his muscles tightened made him let out a low groan as he thrusted in again throughout his orgasm. He suddenly felt all of his strength leave his body after his climax, thrusting in a few times before he collapsed onto the bed looking at the boy beside. Youngbin had his eyes closed, taking a few deep breaths in order to calm down from his high.   
He opened his eyes when he felt a hand on his chest tracing over the hickeys, looking directly into the younger's eyes.  
„You're even better than I expected. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did" he whispered and kissed him again, his hand moving to hold onto his waist before he rolled them over so he was on top of him again. He could feel himself getting excited all over again and with a smirk he gripped another condom before he broke the kiss.  
„I still have a few of those and I wouldn't mind using them" he whispered, smirking when he got pulled into another kiss instead of receiving an answer, knowing exactly where this will lead them.


	11. 11

„Youngbin hyung? You need to get up" Sanghyuk whispered the next day, still holding tightly onto the older boy.  
„How late is it?" he mumbled while opening his eyes, groaning when his back and headache reminded him of everything that happened last night.  
„It's 7 AM" the younger replied and leaned down to kiss Youngbin, he just couldn't help it.   
„Damn I need to go home before school starts. My mother will kill me" he mumbled to himself and heard Sanghyuk chuckle beside him.   
„Why would she do this? You're almost twenty."  
„Yes but I still have to take Youngkyun with me" Youngbin mumbled, turning away from Sanghyuk to grab his phone. As expected he had a few missed calls from his mother and a lot of messages from Youngkyun, after all he just sneaked out without telling anyone.  
„I'll have to go now in order to get to school on time" he replied and looked up into Sanghyuk's eyes.  
„Will you come over after school?" Sanghyuk asked and Youngbin just nodded with a small smile.   
They both got up and Youngbin quickly got dressed, almost getting distracted by Sanghyuk who was only wearing his underwear but nonetheless managed to get ready and go downstairs. He was about to leave when Sanghyuk pulled him close and placed his hands on his waist before he kissed him passionately. He couldn't resist Youngbin at all so he didn't even try to.   
„I'll see you in school" he whispered against his lips while he reluctantly let go of his waist.  
„See you" Youngbin replied and left, quickly starting his car to get ready and fetch Youngkyun, even speeding a bit so he made it on time. He was already dreading his mother's reaction but thinking back he couldn't hide his smile, it was definitely worth it. When he parked his car he already saw his mother opening the door, anger and worry visible on her face, so he decided to quickly get out of the car and talk with her.   
„Kim Youngbin were have you been the whole night? Do you know how worried I was when I saw that you're not home?" she yelled at him before she hugged him.  
„I'm sorry eomma. A friend asked me to come over to help me with school work and then we fell asleep" he lied, hoping she would believe him.  
„Just tell me next time and now get ready for school. You don't want to be late on your second day" she mumbled and let go of him. Carefully Youngbin made his way into his room only to be met with Youngkyun on his way who obviously was way more curious than their mother.   
„Hyung did you drink? Have you been with Sanghyuk?"   
„No Youngkyun I didn't drink" he groaned out, not wanting to be interrogated by his little brother like that.  
„Are you alright?" the younger asked, noticing the way his brother moved in order to avoid pain.  
„I'm fine and I need to get ready now in order to make it to school in time" Youngbin replied annoyed before he finally entered his room.   
It took him a few minutes longer than usual to put on his uniform and he was glad when he was completely changed, feeling definitely cleaner, before he grabbed his schoolbag and left his room again only to ran into his brother.  
„Eomma we have to go now. See you later" he called out and went to his car again, waiting for his younger brother.  
„Eomma I'll talk with him" Youngkyun said and left too, hugging her before he climbed into his brother's SUV.  
„Hyung I'm not a baby and I'm definitely not stupid and it's quite obvious that you've slept with him yesterday" Youngkyun mumbled, worried about his older brother.  
„Youngkyun-ah I'm old to decide what I'm doing and what not" he started but was cut off by the younger.  
„You know exactly what happened the last time you've said this" Youngkyun countered, knowing exactly that his brother tried to suppress the memories of the past years.  
„Kim Youngkyun you'll stop right now. I know exactly what happened but Sanghyuk is different."  
„We're just worried about you."  
„You don't have to be. I'm old enough to take care of myself despite everything that happened."  
„But hyung"  
„No buts Youngkyun. Just stop talking about it. This is a new beginning and I don't want you to treat me like I'm a baby. I'm having enough of it especially since I am your older brother and not the other way around. Is it so hard for you to see me being happy?"  
„I just don't know if he can make you happy."  
„You don't even know him" Youngbin interrupted.  
„Chanhee knows him. He's in my class and he told me to be careful around him."  
„So? Doesn't he like him?" Youngbin mumbled while rolling his eyes, Sanghyuk was one of the nicest person he met in this whole school so far.  
„He's a prankster. Also his relationships never lasted really long, sex was the only thing he wanted" the younger repeated everything he heard from his classmate.  
„Everyone can change."  
„You slept with him, didn't you?"  
„Yes I did" the older sighed, knowing that Youngkyun wouldn't stop bothering him.  
„See, that's exactly what I'm trying to tell you" Youngkyun whined, hoping his brother would finally come to his senses.   
„So?"  
„Uh just be careful hyung" he sighed and looked out of the window.


	12. 12

„Youngkyun we need to talk" Chanhee immediately said as soon as the older came into his sight.  
„What's wrong?" he carefully asked, letting himself be dragged by the younger.  
„Chanhee you're scaring me. What's wrong?" Youngkyun asked, feeling relieved when he saw the blush on Chanhee's cheeks.  
"It's about Seokwoo hyung" Chanhee started as they stopped besides a remote classroom, no students around.  
"Did something happen?" the older asked and immediately noticed the blush on Chanhee's cheeks spreading.  
"It's not that but I told him about my thoughts and why I'm so distant sometimes and he accepted me just like that. He even said he want to help me as much as he can" Chanhee replied and Youngkyun couldn't hide his smile.  
"That's fantastic. I'm so happy for you but that doesn't explain why you're blushing like crazy" he teased, raising one eyebrow at the younger.  
"He kissed me for the first time" the other shyly replied, making Youngkyun chuckle.  
"Sweet. I'm surprised you guys have never kissed before. Everyone else couldn't resist Seokwoo at all."  
"He's not that perfect, to be honest. He's way too curious and he can be really loud" Chanhee complained but he couldn't hide his smile as they both started walking into the direction of their classroom.   
"You can't fool me, just say that you have the perfect boyfriend" Youngkyun chuckled, surprised that Chanhee and him got along so well almost as if they've been friends for years.  
"It's not like he's perfect in every single way but he's close to it" the younger admitted, thinking back to the events of the past days and the way Seokwoo was so gentle and patient with him.  
"You two are really cute together, I mean as long as you don't curse him and make him run after you" the older teased, suddenly getting distracted when he caught Taeyang gazing at him.  
"I know that I shouldn't behave like that and I'm trying my best" the younger groaned, surprised when there was no answer from Youngkyun.  
"Yah what are you looking at?" he curiously asked, following his gaze and looking at back at his friend with a smirk.  
"Don't tell me you have a crush on Taeyang hyung" Chanhee snickered, resulting in Youngkyun immediately covering his mouth.  
"I don't. I was just looking at the girl over there."  
"Of course especially since there's no girl over there. It's only Taeyang hyung and a few of his classmates" the younger replied, making the older look around in panic before looking at Chanhee again.  
"It's not like you think. I just saw him looking at me and then I was lost in thoughts."  
"Thoughts about Taeyang" Chanhee concluded, enjoying the situation way too much before he noticed the expression on Youngkyun's face.  
"Fine I'm sorry for teasing you but there's nothing wrong with falling in love with another guy."  
"Wow who are you and where's Chanhee? I didn't know that a kiss could change someone completely" Youngkyun replied, his revenge on the younger for teasing him.  
"I didn't know that you can be this evil" the younger pouted, faking a shocked voice before smirking at the older.  
"You know that's why I like you" he added, making the older burst out in laughter.

"I can't do this anymore. Why can't we graduate now?" Chanhee groaned after the morning lessons were finished, resting his head on top of his table as Youngkyun could only laugh at him.  
"You're so overreacting. It wasn't even that hard."  
"I never said that. I was so bored I couldn't stand it anymore" Chanhee replied as he turned around to face the older.  
"At least I wish Seokwoo and I could be in the same class" he mumbled.  
"So you can stare at him instead of concentrating?" Youngkyun asked and Chanhee only blushed a bit.  
"Maybe."  
"So will you spend the day together?" the older curiously asked, only a little bit jealous that he didn't have someone to spend his spare time with.  
"He'll stay at my house today. My mother said she was missing me because I've been spending so much time with Seokwoo but he wouldn't stop annoying me until I asked him to stay over".  
"That's really cute. Does your mother know about your relationship?"  
"I've never told her but she probably suspects it. I'm still not comfortable enough to tell her. I'm worried that she might have a problem with it."  
"Yeah that could happen" Youngkyun mumbled as he remembered their father's reaction when Youngbin told him about his boyfriend.  
"Can you help me with something?" Chanhee suddenly asked, looking at the other with sparkling eyes and a hopeful smile.  
"What is it?"  
"You said your brother had boyfriends before. Can you maybe help me get to know him a bit? I really need to ask him about a few things" he shyly said, not even caring about the fact that his new friend could think about him as annoying.  
"I don't think that will be a problem, especially since we have the same group of friends" Youngkyun replied with a smile.  
"Thank you. I really need some help and I don't know who to ask to be honest."  
"I probably don't even want to know about this. How about getting something to eat?" he suggested and Chanhee immediately got up upon hearing the word eat.  
"That's the best idea you've ever had. I bet the others are already in the canteen eating" Chanhee replied as they were following most students out of the classroom.


	13. 13

"I think we need to talk Juho" Seokwoo said as he sat down beside his best friend for over 7 years.  
"Do you really think so?"   
"I know that I wasn't fair towards you and I'm sorry but Chanhee needed me. I know that you aren't okay with our relationship but I love him. I'm sorry for not spending time with you and for trying so hard but he really needs a bit of extra care. It's not easy and I don't expect you to understand but my boyfriend needs me and I want to help him the best I can" Seokwoo blurted out, hoping that somehow he could save both, his friendship and relationship.  
"I do get that but who said I didn't need you? You just assumed that I'm fine and don't need you. You accuse me of not understanding your type of relationship while I'm just watching from the back and getting my heart broken every single time I look at the two of you together. You said I don't understand that you love another guy, while you were the one dating numerous girls before you met Chanhee, not me. You say he needs you but what about me? You haven't even realized how much I suffered while you were trying to even get him to talk to you. I needed you but you weren't there. I've been always there for you, every time you got dumped by a girl or just used because of your looks. I don't care if I sound selfish, I got my heart broken already so I only want to be selfish this one time to tell you that you abandoned me and not the other way around."  
It was too much for Seokwoo to take all of it in at once, he just sat there while staring at the slightly older boy, trying to figure out what exactly he was trying to tell him.  
"Chanhee isn't my problem, we're all friends and I don't want that to change but it made me think. While you were dating all of those girls I knew that I never had a chance with you, that you would never even think about dating another man but then you fell in love with Chanhee and I started thinking why him? What does he have what I lack? Is it the fact that he is the only person not admiring your looks? Is it the fact that he makes you run after him? I just can't figure it out and it's driving me crazy and it makes me realize even more that nobody will ever fall in love with me. I really want us to stay friends but I don't really know if I can do this. I love you Seokwoo and not only as my best friend. Your happiness was always my priority but I can't watch you being so in love while I can only watch and suffer even more."  
"Juho don't say such things. I never wanted to make you feel hurt or abandon you. I don't even know what exactly is going on right now. You've always been so supportive and encouraged me, you were the one who encouraged me to give Chanhee some time to get used to this situation. Why have you never said anything? How should I have known that you feel this way when you have never told me?" Seokwoo replied, feeling frustrated by the fact that he might lose his best friend.  
"Because I didn't want you to know Seokwoo, it's as easy as that. I didn't want you to know how jealous I am of Chanhee. I just didn't want you to feel uncomfortable after knowing how I really feel about you. It definitely changes everything and I'm not sure if I can be so close to you anymore. As I said before it's selfish but I also need to listen to my own heart a bit and in order not to ruin your relationship it's the best to stay away from you."  
"You can't just leave like that because you're scared Juho, since when are you such a coward?" Seokwoo sternly replied, noticing the tears in the other's eyes. They just stared at each other for a moment, not needing any words in order to understand each other.  
"I can't tell you why it's Chanhee that I love. It just happened and there's nothing I can do about it. Just because you told me everything won't change the way I look at you, you're still my best friend and even if it's hard for you I don't want to lose you. I need you as much as I need my other friends or boyfriend. You mean a lot to me so please don't leave me like that. I promise you that I'll spend more time with you but you can't have any secrets anymore. We promised to never hide anything from each other. I understand if you want to stay away from me but you can't stay away from me forever" Seokwoo pleaded, feeling tears well up in his eyes up as well.  
"I need you Juho so please don't do this to me" Seokwoo whispered, the tears rolling down his cheeks as he saw the conflicted gaze in his best friend's eyes.  
"I could never leave you forever Seokwoo" the older replied before hugging him, letting his tears roll down his cheeks as he heard his best friend sobbing too.


	14. 14

"I've told you that they are already here" Chanhee replied as they entered the canteen and spotted all of their friends sitting together, the only ones missing were Juho and Seokwoo.  
"Nope your boyfriend and his best friend are missing so you haven't won the bet either" Youngkyun replied, chuckling as the younger rolled his eyes.  
"Let's get something to eat before I starve" Chanhee said, already walking towards the queue of students.   
"Alright. We don't want that to happen" the older replied while following him.  
"Where is your boyfriend by the way?" he asked, noticing how Chanhee looked around the canteen trying to spot him.  
"Since Juho is absent too I think they maybe talk about some best friend things. After all they've known each other the longest out of all of us."  
"How long have they been friends?" Youngkyun curiously asked, still not knowing a lot about his new friends.  
"7 years or something like that. Seokwoo doesn't really talk about it, I only know that they've been in middle school together."  
"They really seem close."  
"When I first met them they never went anywhere alone. When you were searching for Seokwoo you automatically knew where Juho hyung was."  
"Does it bother you? That they are spending so much time together?" the older asked, curious since he already knew about Chanhee's fears.  
"No not really. I know that they experienced a lot of things together and I don't want to get in the way of their friendship. Actually Juho helped me a lot after he found out that I like Seokwoo" Chanhee admitted, surprising Youngkyun even more.   
"Really? How?"  
"He knows Seokwoo better than he himself does. He helped me figure out my feelings for him and then made me confess to him".   
"You confessed to Seokwoo? But you always run away from him."  
"I just felt so frustrated because of my feelings until I realized that I like him. I'm still overwhelmed by all of this that's why I act so impulsively" Chanhee sighed, already being the next in line to receive his food.  
"I can imagine it. The thought alone is scary" Youngkyun admitted and the younger could only nod, waiting for his friend to receive his food before walking over to the others.  
"So if you ever need help with Taeyang hyung ask Juho" Chanhee snickered, quickly running off to the others as soon as he saw his annoyed expression.  
"Yah Kang Chanhee you asshole" Youngkyun yelled after him while following him, noticing that the only unoccupied chair was beside Taeyang as soon as he reached the table.  
"What's wrong?" Youngbin asked as he noticed his brother hesitating before sitting down.  
"Nothing hyung" he mumbled as he quickly started eating, not even looking at the person sitting beside him once.  
"Doesn't seem like it" Chanhee replied as he looked at him with an angelic smile.  
"Asshole."  
"Yah Youngkyun language" Youngbin reprimanded him immediately, making the other's chuckle at the brotherly behavior.  
"Hyung he was teasing me first" his younger brother immediately tried to defend himself.  
"It doesn't matter. Apologize" the older ordered.  
"Fine I'm sorry Chanhee."  
"I'm sorry for teasing you" the youngest replied, having way too much fun teasing his older friends.  
"Just wait" Youngkyun warned him, the other's bursting out laughing at the young, adorable boy.  
It wasn't taking long for Seokwoo and Juho to suddenly appear, sitting down on the table without saying anything at all.  
"Is everything alright?" Inseong asked, having already noticed their glassy eyes and blushed cheeks.  
"Yes everything's alright" both boys answered at the same time, Juho sitting down beside Inseong whereas Seokwoo took the free space besides Chanhee.  
All of them knew that there was something off but they weren't going to ask any further, knowing that it was their business after all. The happy mood was immediately replaced by a gloomy silence, Inseong gently stroking Juho's hair as he rested his head on the older's shoulder.   
"You sure everything's fine?" Inseong whispered to him, not stopping to comfort the younger boy.  
"No" he mumbled, hiding his face in the crook of the older's neck, trying to hide his tear-stained face.  
"You want to talk about it?"  
"Not now" Juho mumbled , not moving away from his oldest friend.  
"Fine. We'll talk later, just the two of us."  
"Thank you hyung" Juho mumbled, ignoring all of the other people on the table as he still felt his own heart break more and more after seeing Seokwoo immediately going to Chanhee.


	15. 15

"So what exactly happened between you and Seokwoo?" Inseong asked as he took the younger aside.  
"It's not that something in particular happened" the younger replied, avoiding Inseong's gaze as he was staring down at the ground.  
"Juho I'm not stupid. I saw that Seokwoo was crying as well, so what's wrong between you two? Is it because you like him?"  
"Hyung it's not like that" the younger immediately replied, trying to hide his hopeless love for his best friend.  
"You can't lie to me like that. I see the way you look at him especially when he's with Chanhee. But I still don't get why you helped Chanhee when you love him too."  
"I did it because they are both my friends and Seokwoo couldn't stop talking about his feelings for him. I thought it wouldn't bother me this much and that I could just ignore it."  
"And now you realized that you can't stand seeing them together?" Inseong guessed and he could only nod his head, lowering it as he was ashamed of himself.  
"Juho-yah there's nothing wrong with liking Seokwoo, you know that."  
"But it is wrong to be jealous of Chanhee. I tried to ignore it but I can't, every time I see them together I just want to run away. I tried to stay away but I can't and he wouldn't let me either."  
"You two have been friends for such a long time, you really wanted to throw this away because you have a crush on him? I get that it's hurting you but he is your best friend and he still needs you. So what do you prefer, still being able to be with him as a friend or never talk with him again?" the older asked, resulting in a heavy silence.  
"It's not that I want to stay away from him either but seeing him just makes me realize how hopeless I am. He's my best friend, I was never supposed to fall in love with him" the younger replied, getting angry at himself.   
"Juho just don't do anything stupid" Inseong mumbled, the ringing of the bell making them both walking towards their classrooms.   
"I'll see you later" the oldest said before entering his class. Juho felt conflicted with himself, he knew that he couldn't avoid Seokwoo and that he didn't want too but it was slowly killing him to see him together with Chanhee. He hated feeling his heart break every time he saw his best friend looking at Chanhee with so much love. He wished so hard that it would be him Seokwoo was looking at like that, he hated himself for even having this thought but he couldn't help it. The Seokwoo in the past was always there for him, always protected him in middle school when people were picking at him because of his height or his introverted personality. He remembered the moment Seokwoo grew taller than him and always protected him from the others, despite him being older. This was the Seokwoo he feel in love with, the caring, selfless and always kind person. Many years later and he still was so much in love with him as when he was in middle school, noticing that Seokwoo must be his only true love while he was just his best friend. Sighing he walked to his own classroom. He already saw Seokwoo sitting at their table and he felt nervous all again, hoping that the younger wouldn't start talking about it again.  
"Juho can we please go back to how it was before?" Seokwoo asked as soon as he sat down.  
"Just forget everything we talked about please."  
"How can I? I just feel bad whenever I'm around Chanhee now."  
"Seriously Seokwoo just forget it or else we can never go back to being best friends" the older sighed, noticing the other's shocked expression.  
"You won't leave me, right?" Seokwoo asked timidly, sounding close to tears again.  
"No Seokwoo of course I won't leave you" he sighed, knowing exactly that leaving him would break his heart even more than watching him and Chanhee being together.


	16. 16

"Seokwoo hyung what happened between you and Juho hyung?" Chanhee asked after lunch, being the curios one now for once.  
"Nothing. Why do you think something happened?" Seokwoo nervously asked, trying to pretend everything was fine in front of the younger.  
"I'm not stupid. You both obviously cried and seeing Juho hyung clinging onto Inseong hyung like that only confirmed that something must have happened."  
"We were just talking about some things."  
"Why were you both crying then? You are best friends and given everything he's done for me I can't stand seeing Juho hyung like that. He seemed like he would start crying every second, so what's wrong?" the younger questioned, raising one eyebrow at his boyfriend.  
"He just told me that he fell in love with someone who's in a relationship already" Seokwoo mumbled, feeling bad for just blurting this out like that.  
"That's why you were crying too?"  
"He's my best friend and I get sad when he's sad."  
"Fine if you say so. You're his best friend so you better make sure to take better care of him. He doesn't deserve to be treated like that. I get that you want to spend time with me but you rarely ever spend time with him ever since we started dating. You should know better than I that he's way more emotional and sensitive than he pretends to be so don't just abandon him like that."   
"Have you both formed an alliance behind my back? Shouldn't you be happy that I want to spend so much time with you?" Seokwoo asked, a bit hurt by his boyfriends words.  
"Just because we're dating doesn't mean we have to see each other 24 hours every day. I have other friends too and so do you. Juho is your best friend and he deserves to be treated like that. After these past months I'm surprised he still is your best friend."  
"What do you mean?" the older asked confused, not knowing why he had to be confronted like this by everyone.  
"You completely ignored him while you were trying everything with me. Honestly we wouldn't be together without Juho hyung" Chanhee blurted out, realizing that he just betrayed Juho. After all he promised him to never tell Seokwoo that he was helping him.  
"Chanhee what are you talking about?"  
"I would have never approached you if Juho hyung wouldn't have helped me. He told me that you like me, he encouraged me to embrace the feelings I had for you and and to make me confess to you. Juho hyung was the one who helped me figure out what I truly felt and that it's nothing to be scared or ashamed of. I feel so sorry that he lost his best friend because of me, I really want to make it up to him but I don't know how."  
"Juho helped you to confess to me? Did he tell you what to say?" Seokwoo asked, figuring out that everything slowly started to make sense.  
"Yes he did. I still don't know why he knew exactly what to say to you" Chanhee shrugged, noticing Seokwoo's shocked look.  
"So it was him confessing" Seokwoo mumbled to himself, feeling his stomach churn as he thought back to Chanhee's confession.  
"Hyung is everything alright?" Chanhee asked as he saw how lost in thoughts his boyfriend was.  
"Yes I just realized I forgot something. I'll meet you after school" Seokwoo said before running off to his classroom, sitting down and waiting for the older.  
He was nervous and he needed to make sure he wouldn't lose his best friend, especially not after he was the one he had to thank for his relationship. He always knew that Juho always put other's first but he never realized that he would even do it when it came to love, completely ignoring his own feelings just so he and Chanhee could be happy. The moment he saw the older walking in he started feeling incredibly nervous, not knowing what exactly to say after knowing the whole truth. He   
"Juho can we please go back to how it was before?" Seokwoo asked as soon as Juho sat down, nervously biting his lip.  
"Just forget everything we talked about please."  
"How can I? I just feel bad whenever I'm around Chanhee now. I feel like hurting you."  
"Seriously Seokwoo just forget it or else we can never go back to being best friends" the older sighed, noticing his shocked expression as he felt that he was getting teary eyed again.  
"You won't leave me, right?" Seokwoo asked timidly, not being able to look away from his best friend. It felt like ages to him until he received an answer.  
"No Seokwoo of course I won't leave you" Juho sighed, making Seokwoo let out a relieved breath.  
"I'm really sorry for ignoring you so much these past months."  
"Seokwoo I said forget it" the older sighed once again, trying his hardest not to tell him how sorry he truly was and what he had to do in order to make it up to him. For now, Seokwoo figured out, it would be the best to make sure he's happy and be with him whenever he needed him.


	17. 17.1

"Can we go home now hyung? I'm tired" Youngkyun whined as he met up with his brother after the classes finally finished.   
"Yes but I won't be home tonight. Tell eomma that I'm staying with a friend to get a project done when she comes home" the older instructed, seeing his younger brother rolling his eyes immediately.  
"Do you really think this is a good idea? Can you really trust Sanghyuk?"  
"Youngkyun-ah you know exactly what I've experienced already. I've long given up on love and I'm not looking for it. We're in a age where we want to have fun so stop worrying about me. Sanghyuk would never hurt me in the way Hajoon hurt me" the older reassured him, wanting to end this argument once and for all.  
"I just can't help it hyung. Not after what he has done to you. It took so long for you to smile again and I don't want to lose you again" Youngkyun mumbled, surprisedly looking up when he felt someone ruffle his hair.  
"I'll stay with you Youngkyun-ah. I'm a stronger person now and you shouldn't try to protect me. It's my job to protect you as your older brother" Youngbin replied with a bright smile.   
"Fine if you really say so" the younger huffed, starting to walk out of the school building.   
"You'll understand as soon as you have experienced it."  
"Stop talking about it hyung" the younger exclaimed while blushing heavily.  
"Fine I'm sorry" the older chuckled, unlocking his car so Youngkyun could hide himself from the other students.  
"Actually I need to ask you something."  
"What is it?"  
"Chanhee asked me for your help. I have accidentally told him that you like boys and he said he needed to talk with you about something. He seemed very serious about it."  
"Just give him my phone number. He can text me or talk to me whenever he needs" he replied, starting the engine and driving off into the direction of their home.  
"Thank you hyung. I'll send it to him" Youngkyun mumbled, starting to think about what his brother told him.  
"Honestly I still don't get how you can enjoy that" he mumbled, hearing the older laugh immediately after.  
"Why? Because it hurts?" he guessed and Youngkyun only nodded, feeling embarrassed to talk about it.  
"I know that you don't want to hear it's the same for girls and boys. It can hirt for both of them or not, it depends. You just have to be careful, making sure your partner is comfortable."  
"But a boys body is different from a girls. I never heard a girl saying it hurt her."  
"Of course girls hurt too. I really hope you'll be gentle with your first girlfriend. Just because a girls body is made like this doesn't mean she won't hurt, it doesn't matter if your partner is a boy or a girl, you have to always take your time and be prepared."  
"But how can it be enjoyable for boys? I don't get it" the younger sighed frustratedly.  
"Its not just thrusting in, every nerve of your body will be activated and you'll be sensitive to even the slightests touch. It doesn't matter if you're giving or receiving, it's quite enjoyable on both ends."  
"Ah hyung please I don't want to talk about it anymore. It's scary."  
"It isn't scary" the older countered, feeling like he was arguing with a little child.  
"It is and please stop talking about it now."  
"Fine but you were the one who started this conversation" Youngbin remarked, making his brother groan in annoyance.  
"And I deeply regret it" he sighed, glad when he saw their house not far away from them.  
"Make sure to remember these tips when the time comes and you'll finally have a girlfriend."  
"Hyung!" he exclaimed, quickly grabbing his bag, getting ready to leave as soon as the older parked his car.  
"I will be on time tomorrow morning to fetch you. Just don't tell eomma where I am" he replied, watching his brother nod with a sigh.  
"You know that I'm not really fond of him but I trust you. Just don't let yourself get hurt again."  
"I won't Youngkyun-ah. Just trust hyung this time, okay?"  
"Fine. I will but if he hurts you then he'll deeply regret it" the younger warned, making the older chuckle.  
"Of course Kyun-ah."  
"But you'll really be careful, right?" he asked once again, sounding a bit sadder this time.  
"I will and now go and enjoy your evening alone at home."  
"Alright, alright. See you tomorrow hyung" he bid his goodbye, making the older smile before driving off.

Sanghyuk was already waiting for him when he parked in front of the mansion.  
"Have you been this desperate?" he called out while laughing, taking in the younger standing at the door with only his sweatpants, showing off his tattoos and abs.  
"Of course. You left me this morning wanting more" he replied with a small smirk, not even trying to hide what he wanted at all.  
"You're lucky that we're on the same page" Youngbin chuckled, making Sanghyuk gap once again at his duality.  
"Come on in then" Sanghyuk replied while stepping back a bit, letting the older into the house.  
"Let's go to my room, shouldn't we?" the younger asked, a smile playing on his lips as he saw the older slightly biting his bottom lip.  
"Sounds good" he simply replied, their desire visible in their eyes as their gazes met.

It wasn't long after that the older fell asleep, exhausted as Sanghyuk grabbed his phone to look at the messages from his friends.  
It was the text from Jaeyoon that reminded him of his bet, a triumphant smile taking over as he took a picture and sending it into group chat.  
"I won the bet" Sanghyuk wrote before looking back at the older boy sleeping peacefully beside him.


	18. 17.2

"Lee Sanghyuk you come with me. Right now" Inseong exclaimed as soon as he spotted the younger in the hallway the next day.  
"Hyung what's wrong?" he asked, gasping at the older harshly gripping onto his wrist to drag him into a more secluded area. Obviously angered the older pulled out his phone and showed him the picture he sent into the group chat yesterday, very obviously showing the marks all over Youngbin's torso.  
"Sanghyuk he's our friend. I can't believe you did this just because of a stupid bet."  
"Don't yell at me like that. You said it doesn't matter as long as there are no feelings involved."  
"Are you completely crazy? We wanted to finally make you realize how wrong your playboy behavior is" Inseong exclaimed, not even caring about the other students passing by.  
"You can't just dare me to find someone to sleep with me and expect me to just say I can't do it. I never fall in love, it's only fun to me" the younger replied, knowing that this behavior made him the biggest asshole in the whole school.   
"Since when have you started sleeping with guys too, huh? Are you trying to mock us all?"  
"Is that what you really think about me?" Sanghyuk questioned, hurt by Inseong's words.  
"I don't know what to think anymore. I never thought you would actually act like this."  
"Hyung you seriously think I slept with him to make fun of you or the others? Aren't you being too much right now?" Sanghyuk exclaimed, getting angry at Inseong for treating him like this. He knew that he made a lot of mistakes but he never thought that his older friend would turn his back to him like that.  
"I don't know, you tell me. Am I too much or isn't it the truth?"  
"Hyung I would never make fun of you just because you like Jaeyoon hyung" he replied, watching the older look at him shocked.  
"You're the biggest asshole I've ever known" the older cursed before storming off, letting the younger realize why he was so mad at him.  
"Yah Sanghyuk did you do this on purpose?" Jaeyoon asked as he was approaching him, a disappointed look on his face.  
"Of course not. I didn't even know you were near" Sanghyuk sighed.  
"I really hope so but I have to agree with Inseong hyung. You really were too much" Jaeyoon added before following Inseong, trying to talk to him.  
"Thank you. I thought we were friends"Sanghyuk mumbled, walking around the school to look for Youngbin.  
He was constantly lost in thoughts ever since he met Youngbin, he thought that it was probably the fact that he never made out with another man before and that Youngbin was his first. He somehow wanted to have him around, to spend his free time with and of course feeling him as close as the past days. He was addicted to the way the older responded to his kisses or the way he called out his name. Sanghyuk was addicted to the kind of intercourse they had, the way the older felt beneath him and was so good in every aspect that it always left him craving for more. He never really thought about it but he was completely whipped for the older, only realizing it now. He felt relieved when he saw him walking in, Youngkyun in tow as he walked towards him with determination.   
"Can we talk?"  
"Of course. We'll see each other later?" he asked his brother who only nodded before walking off.  
"Is everything alright Sanghyuk? You don't really seem like it" Youngbin worriedly asked, immediately noticing his lost gaze.  
"I know that it sounds stupid but please come over after school. I need to talk with you about something."  
"Of course. I'll drive Youngkyun home and then I'll come over."  
"Thank you" the younger whispered almost inaudibly, feeling nervous all of a sudden.   
"Let's go to class or else Teacher Jung will make us clean the classroom" the older replied, hoping to light up Sanghyuk's mood over the day. The moment they both stepped into the classroom he knew that something was terribly off, the way Jaeyoon and Inseong were looking at the youngest out of them kinda scared him.   
"Why do you all look like that? Did I miss something?" the newest addition to the group of friends questioned, not realizing what he had been missing.  
"No you didn't" Inseong coldly replied, glaring at Sanghyuk who quickly looked away.  
"Then why are you all behaving as if you had the biggest fight ?"  
"It's nothing, really" Jaeyoon replied instead of the oldest, not sounding very convincing at all.  
"Whatever nothing is I really hope you'll talk about it" Youngbin mumbled while pulling out his books. He didn't really understand but judging from their behavior he was sure it had something to do with him or else Sanghyuk wouldn't have asked him to come over just to talk about something. Not knowing why he started dreading the meeting with Sanghyuk, afraid of what he would find out then.


	19. 18

"Yah Inseong stop right there" Jaeyoon called out after he left Sanghyuk, noticing the way the older tensed as he heard Jaeyoon being the one who followed him.  
"What is it?" the older asked, trying to not show how nervous and worked up he currently was.  
"He's always been like that, you know that but he's a good kid."  
"I'm not so sure anymore to be honest. I never thought he would do that" he mumbled, not wanting to reveal how hurt he was.  
"He's still young and he's experimental. Also he didn't know that I was looking for you, it's not his fault" Jaeyoon remarked, smiling gently as he noticed the older blushing.  
"I don't know what you mean" he stuttered, avoiding Jaeyoon's gaze as he tried to pass by him.  
Swiftly Jaeyoon maneuvered him against the closest wall, trapping him with his arms.  
"Hyung I'm not blind. I notice the way you always look at me" he replied with a smirk, making the older blush even more.  
"Class is starting soon" he whispered, still not looking up at the younger boy who was already so close to him.  
"Let's skip class" Jaeyoon suggested, the older immediately looking up at him in shock.  
"I can't" he replied, feeling his heartbeat rapidly picking up it's pace as he was only a few centimeters away from his friend.  
"Hyung let's meet tonight then."  
"Fine and now let me go to class or else we'll be late."  
"Not yet. Be nice to Sanghyuk, he'll probably never change but he's still our friend. Also I wouldn't have found out the truth about you if it weren't for him and you wouldn't have found out that I also like you" the younger replied, letting Inseong go as he finished talking.  
"Huh?"  
"Let's go to class or else your score will be ruined" Jaeyoon reminded, already starting to walk into the direction of their classroom.  
"Yah Jaeyoon wait" he called out, running after his best friend who couldn't stop smiling to himself.  
"I'm sorry if I scared you" Jaeyoon chuckled, noticing Inseong blushing even more and he already loved teasing him about it.  
"Yah don't act like you look so intimidating. You aren't intimidating at all" he complained, pouting as he sat down at his designated desk.  
"Do you want to see me being intimidating?" the younger immediately asked, leaning closer to Inseong once again.  
"Are you crazy? Of course not" Inseong mumbled, lowering his head as he couldn't forget the way Jaeyoon looked at him only a few minutes before.  
"So you do."  
"No. Sit down and shut up."  
Once again the younger could only chuckle at his behavior, already thinking of a way to really confess to him in the evening. He just felt happy knowing that he was the reason of Inseong's happiness and that he could make him blush so easily. He was too scared to tell anyone about his crush so he was really grateful that Sanghyuk accidentally informed him about his mutual feelings.   
"Were you serious before?" Inseong suddenly asked, looking at him with a nervous smile as he was already fearing his answer.  
"I'm sorry hyung but you have to wait until tonight."  
"That's not fair Jaeyoon-ah" the older complained.  
"I won't tell you now" the younger replied, looking back at the older who was still pouting at him.  
"Why are you even my friend? I still don't know why I'm doing this to myself" he mumbled to himself, shocking the younger a bit.  
"Yah stop being so overdramatic hyung."  
"I'm not being overdramatic, I'm being serious" Inseong lied, having to really stop himself from laughing out loud at seeing Jaeyoon's smile fade.  
"Hyung" he whined as soon as he noticed that Inseong was teasing him, now being the one pouting.  
"I'm sorry but it was only fair to tease you too" the older chuckled, smiling at Jaeyoon with the same angelic smile he fell for, making it hard for him to not tell the older on the spot how he feels.  
"Let's concentrate on the class" he added, of course always being the smartest out of them.  
Watching the older from the side studying made Jaeyoon's heart flutter, hoping that Inseong would really reciprocate his feelings and agree on dating him, after all they have been friends for a few years already. He felt extremely nervous but also couldn't keep his eyes off of the older, having always liked his feline eyes and his usual pouty lips whenever he was concentrated. Jaeyoon knew that he was absolutely in love with Inseong and that he never wanted to date somebody else, at least not in this lifetime.  
"Jaeyoon-ah why are you looking at me like that?" Inseong softly asked, turning his head around to meet the younger's gaze. There was a small smile forming on his lips, looking at him with so much love, that it made Jaeyoon's heart beat faster. He couldn't help but get lost in the older's dark brown eyes, allowing himself the luxury to just stare at the older a bit longer.  
"Lee Jaeyoon, would you please stop staring at your classmate?" a voice suddenly rang through the classroom, letting him snap out of his trance.  
"I'm sorry" he mumbled while bowing slightly, hiding his face from the older in embarrassment and concentrating on his schoolwork.


	20. 19

When Youngbin parked his car in front of Sanghyuk's house it was already past 11 PM, the lights in the whole house were already switched off when he approached the front door. He was a bit nervous, hoping Sanghyuk wasn't asleep already and that he wouldn't wake him up.  
Before he could ring the doorbell the door already opened, revealing Sanghyuk in sweatpants and a loose shirt.  
"Sorry for being so late" Youngbin apologized as he stepped a bit closer, smiling when he felt the younger's hands pulling him closer by his waist.   
"It's fine. I usually stay up longer" he replied as he leaned in, connecting their lips in a soft kiss as Sanghyuk just couldn't resist him at all.  
"Let's go inside" Youngbin whispered against the younger's lips before he kissed him again, gentle and short before they stumbled into the dark hallway.  
"Is there anything you need before we go upstairs? Do you want to eat something?"  
"No I only need you" the older replied and looked up into Sanghyuk's eyes as he intertwined their hands. Sanghyuk didn't know what it was but he felt something shift inside of him while looking at the older, a heavy feeling taking over.  
"Is everything alright?" Youngbin asked, softly touching his cheek to shake him out from his thoughts, remembering that Sanghyuk only wanted him to come over to talk.  
"Sorry I was just thinking about something. Let's go upstairs yeah?" he replied and smiled a bit to hide his confusion and guilt. Guilt was what described this feeling the best, something Sanghyuk has never felt before.   
"You're so quiet today" the older noticed as they entered the bedroom, hoping Sanghyuk was alright.   
"I'm just a bit tired but it'll be over soon" he replied and sat down on his bed, his eyes scanning over the boy in front of him before he looked away.  
He could hear footsteps on the carpeted floor and a few seconds later he felt the older's head resting on top of his knees while he was gently playing with his fingers.  
"I'm serious Sanghyuk. It's like you're a completely different person, what's wrong?" Youngbin asked as he looked up at him, worry visible in his eyes and this only added to his newfound guilt. He was wrong and he most definitely didn't deserve Youngbin caring about him, not after what he's done to him. As much as he wanted to look away he couldn't tear his eyes away from the older, the way he was looking up at him made his heart beat a little bit faster than usual and he found himself tightening his grip around the older's hand.   
"I'm sorry" the younger mumbled, the words getting stuck in his throat as he couldn't look up at him any longer.  
"Why are you apologizing?"  
"We shouldn't have done that" he whispered, eyes closed as he took another deep breath.  
"We used protection so there's nothing to worry about" the older replied, not quite understanding what made Sanghyuk so uncomfortable.  
„It's not that. Why haven't you said no to me? Why have you just allowed me to sleep with you?"  
„Seriously Sanghyuk I'm not a child anymore. We have desires just like everybody else and it was by mutual consent, so why are you apologizing now?" Youngbin gently questioned, making Sanghyuk tear up by his pure and kind personality.  
"Youngbin it's not as simple as that. You were the first man I've had any sexual relationship with" the younger sighed, feeling the guilt eating him up alive.  
"So? What's the problem? There's nothing wrong with trying out something new."  
"It was a bet Youngbin. The other's dared me to have another one night stand, no strings attached. I am a player, I've always been like that. Inseong told me today that they wanted me to change, to realize that nobody would put up with me anymore. Even if you won't believe me but I never planned all of this, that I would sleep with you in order to fulfill the bet. When we were drunk I was curious, I slept with so many girls and never craved something else but you made me curious. That's why Inseong was so angry today, I said I won the bet after yesterday" Sanghyuk admitted, not daring to look up at Youngbin while slowly pulling his hands away.   
"Sanghyuk" he gently mumbled, his hand gently cupping his cheek so he would look at him.  
"Look at me please" the older begged, smiling as soon as Sanghyuk looked at him with teary eyes.   
"I'm not mad at you. I also made mistakes in the past. I can't be mad at you for being curious even if it was for a bet. I have long given up on the idea of love so why should I judge you for having fun?"  
"It's not like that. I don't know why but I feel so different after this. I've tried meeting girls but it doesn't feel right anymore. I can't tell you how hard it is for me to stay away from you, whenever I see you I feel happy and just want to kiss you. You have awakened something in me I've never felt before. I haven't told them but I feel like I've lost this bet. I've never developed feelings for anyone and then you came along."  
"You fell in love with me?" Youngbin asked shocked, not believing that there would somebody be stupid enough to fall in love with him.  
"I've never been in love before so I'm not really sure but I think that if you fall in love it must feel like that"  
"You aren't kidding me, right?" the older whispered, feeling sad as he remembered his previous lovers.  
"Of course not. These past days really changed me and it was all because of you. It's so strange to me too but I just want to have you close."  
"Sanghyuk I don't really know what to say."  
"How about we just get to know each other better? Talk about things and then we'll see what happens?" Sanghyuk suggested and the older could only smile at him.  
"Sounds good but only if we're allowed to still kiss each other" he added, making them both chuckle.


	21. 20

Jaeyoon has been confident before but now that their classes ended he didn't know if he really could confess to the older. He normally wasn't that cowardly but it was something completely different when it came to his beloved Inseong hyung. Being friends for a few years he was too scared of losing him, even if Sanghyuk pretty much confessed instead of Inseong.   
"So where do you want to go?" Inseong asked while packing his books into his bag, looking expectantly at his younger friend.  
"Um I haven't really thought about that. Where do you want to go?" he asked while nervously scratching his neck.  
"Whatever's fine. I don't really care about it" Inseong replied, a small smile always present on his lips.  
"Do you want to eat something or rather take a walk along Han River?" Jaeyoon proposed, standing up and waiting for the older to do the same.  
"Isn't that what couples do?" the older cluelessly asked, walking out of the classroom with his friend who nervously started blushing a bit.  
"It would be nice since it's such a pretty night."  
"I've told you that I'm fine with everything so let's just go and take a walk" Inseong replied with a bright smile.  
Silently they both left the big school building, following the route to the River since it wasn't far away from their school. The night wasn't too cold and there weren't much people around so they could walk and talk without having to fear getting lost in a crowd of people.  
"So what did you want to tell me?" Inseong asked as they were walking side by side, the moonlight sparkling in his eyes as he looked down to the Han River.  
"I just wanted to spend some time with you" he nervously chuckled, not having the courage to confess to Inseong now that they were alone.  
"Jaeyoon-ah you know exactly that my parents expect me to be home before midnight. I heard what you said today and I really thought you had something important to tell me" the older replied a bit disappointed, looking down to the ground. This remark made the younger feel even more nervous, pressuring him to finally confess to Inseong.  
"It's not that I don't have something important to tell you but I don't know how."  
"Where is the confidence you had in school? You're normally never shy or embarrassed, what happened now?"  
"It's because of you. Whenever I'm with you I feel so nervous all of a sudden, you make my heart flutter every time you look at me" the younger blurted out, feeling like his heart would burst if he would have kept it in any longer.   
"Jaeyoon-ah what exactly do you want to tell me?" he replied a bit bewildered, stopping to look at the younger boy in front of him.  
"Don't hate me for it."  
"I could never hate you, I promise it" Inseong replied, feeling himself getting nervous.   
"I like you Inseong. Not just like a best friend, I like you like a lover would. I have for a long time now" he just confessed, not thinking too much about it.  
"You're stupid Jaeyoon, that's why you were so nervous? Even after Sanghyuk told you about my feelings for you today?" Inseong replied with a chuckle.  
"Of course I was."  
"You don't have to be" the older replied while stepping closer to Jaeyoon, gently taking both of his hands into his own.  
"Even if you should know by now but I also like you in a romantic way. I've been thinking about confessing for a long time but I never thought you would reciprocate my feelings Jaeyoon" Inseong confessed, blushing gently as he was still looking at their hands.  
"No actually I don't like you, I already love you so much" the oldest added, looking up at Jaeyoon who was looking at him with a slightly open mouth, a bit shocked from his confession.  
"You're not kidding me, right?" he asked and Inseong only shook his head, making Jaeyoon sigh in relief.  
"I'm so glad then" he spoke with a nervous smile, his cheeks blushed a deep red.  
"So you don't want to formally ask me out?" Inseong teased with a raised eyebrow, making Jaeyoon laugh out loud.  
"I'm sorry, I forgot" he laughed while getting down on one knee.  
"Kim Inseong, will you do me the honor and be my boyfriend?" he asked, holding out his hand to him, making it even more dramatic.  
"Of course I will" Inseong laughed and took his hand, pulling him up from the ground, his smile faltering as he was face to face with Jaeyoon again, realizing how close they truly were.  
"Inseong hyung" the younger mumbled, realizing the situation too.  
"Just kiss me" he breathed out, closing his eyes in anticipation. It was a mere second later that he felt the younger's lips hesitantly on his own, clumsily trying to establish a rhythm. It made Inseong smile, despite their age they both were still very innocent and inexperienced but it didn't matter to him. He was glad that Jaeyoon's feelings were mutual and he couldn't wait to experience it all together with him, to share the same memories and learn new things. He couldn't hide his happiness, resulting in the younger breaking away from the kiss and appreciate the laugh of his new boyfriend.  
"I'm sorry but I'm just so happy right now."  
"I am too but it's getting pretty late now. I don't want to get in trouble with your parents already if you'll get home after your curfew" Jaeyoon replied with a pout, intertwining his hand with Inseong as he started walking along the River with him.  
"But I don't feel like going home now" the older protested with a pout. Chuckling Jaeyoon pecked the older's lips, replacing the frown with a smile.  
"I'll bring you back home now and then I'll fetch you tomorrow morning so we can go to school together. I don't want to risk your parents not letting you go out again to see me."  
"Fine but only because my parents would probably really lock me in if I come home too late."   
"I already know them so well after being your friend" the younger triumphantly replied.  
"And now you're promoted to boyfriend. I couldn't be any happier" Inseong cooed, not even hiding his blush and smile while Jaeyoon was walking him back home in the dark night.


	22. 21 M

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!Very sensitive content. If you don't want to or can't read it stop at the part marked with * !!!!!!

"I can't believe this. We've cared for you and always gave you everything you wanted and this is what you've became?" his father yelled, not caring about the boy crying in front of him.  
"Please I'm sorry appa" he mumbled, sliding onto his knees as he looked up at the angry man.  
"You aren't my son. A mere disgrace that's what you are. Fooling around with guys and then letting yourself being treated like that. You can't even fight back to protect yourself, that's how weak you are" he continued on yelling, holding back his own tears of disappointment as he looked at his son, kneeling in front of him while begging with tears in his eyes.  
"I promise I will get stronger. I'm sorry that I was acting like this" he kept on mumbling, hoping his father would calm down and tell him that he still loved him.  
"You will never change. Growing up I was hoping that you'll be a real man someday but you disappointed me. I don't want anyone to associate you with me."  
"Father please. I'll do anything so you can be proud of me" Youngbin whispered, tears streaming down his face as he dared to look up at him.  
"No there's nothing you can do. Your body is tainted and so are you. You've been fooling around with guys, letting them touch you like a woman would and then you even dare to show up saying you got raped. You can do whatever you want but you aren't my son anymore" the middle aged man said, leaving his son behind as he left the room.

It was in the middle of the night that he awoke because of a nightmare. Carefully he looked at the boy laying by his side, fast asleep to his luck. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes as he remembered everything from the past, remembering how much he disappointed his father and being the reason his family broke apart. He often thought about his words, his father was the most important man in his life as he always looked up to him, wanting to be exactly like him. He felt his stomach churn at the vivid memories from his nightmare, reliving it all again as he suddenly felt his breath getting stuck in his throat, choking on his tears while trying his hardest not to start crying. The image and acts of his former boyfriend, Hajoon, were still haunting him. He knew that the older was sick, that he wasn't psychologically unstable but it couldn't erase his memories and the effects it had on him.  
"Don't listen to him. He's lying to you. Who would really love you?" a small voice echoed in the back of his head.  
"Please just go already. Why can't you finally let me alone?" Youngbin mumbled, his hands covering his ears in hope to drown out the voice.  
"Youngbin? Are you okay?" Sanghyuk tiredly mumbled, lazily turning around when he didn't hear any reply. He was about to open his eyes when he heard a whimper, quickly sitting up to see the older curled up in himself, holding onto his head while mumbling to himself.  
"Youngbin, what's wrong" he asked as he gently put his hand onto his back, resulting in the older jolting up. Sanghyuk was shocked when he saw the tears rolling down his cheeks and the desperation visible in his eyes.  
"I'm here" Sanghyuk whispered while embracing the older, gently stroking his head while trying to calm him down.  
"I only want to forget" he whispered, his voice thin and laced with tears.  
"What do you want to forget?"   
"Him. Everything he's done. The way he hurt me" the older whispered, feeling his chest tightening as the panic arose in him as the thought back to the worst night he ever experienced*:

"Seriously how can you be so drunk after drinking so little?" Hajoon huffed as he stumbled across the bedroom with the smaller, pushing him down onto the bed to only watch him groan and roll over to his side. Youngbin never was a heavy drinker and only drank so much to please his lover but now he only felt his head throbbing in pain and his surroundings spinning even while lying down.   
"So will you just lie there and do nothing?" the older replied, getting onto the bed to sit down beside him.  
"Yes I'm tired" Youngbin mumbled, eyes shut close as he nuzzled his head into the pillow right beside him.   
"You're such a lightweight" the older cooed while softly stroking over his back, cuddling close to him.  
Youngbin was glad that Hajoon wasn't angry at him and just accepted his decision without getting worked up.  
"But you haven't kissed me even once today. Don't you love me anymore?" he asked as he let his hand wander towards his chest, gently stroking over it as he rested his head on his shoulder.  
"Of course I still love you" Youngbin mumbled while turning onto his back, gazing up into the older's eyes.  
"Prove it" the older simply replied, his fingers ghosting over the youngers stomach while he smirked at him.  
Without any hesitation he pulled the older down into a kiss, letting Hajoon nibble onto his lower lip despite his already aching body. He wasn't really in the mood to make out with his lover and only wanted to sleep but he also wanted to please him. The moment he pulled away Youngbin felt like falling asleep any second, his body giving in to his exhaustion. He could hear Hajoon chuckling before his eyes fell close, content to finally get some sleep. Just before drifting of to sleep he felt the older's lips on his neck, biting into the pale skin as his hand wandered over his stomach down to his lower body. Despite his drowsiness he openend his eyes, weakly resting his hand on Hajoon's chest.  
"Don't I want to sleep" Youngbin replied, feeling his arm trembling a bit as his eyes fell close once again.  
"You don't even have to do anything but you still complain" Hajoon huffed, his gaze hard on the younger as he rapidly opened his eyes. He knew that expression on the older's face all to well, knew exactly by the shade of his eyes that he wouldn't stop until he had what he wanted. Without waiting for any answer he already opened the younger's pants, letting his hand graze over his groin.  
"Hyung not today. I don't want to" the younger protested, trying to shove him away. Not even a few seconds later he let his hand fall to his cheek, the sound of the slap still echoing in his ears as he felt his cheek heating up.  
"At least you're quiet now" the older groaned while ripping open his dress shirt, angrily marking his chest even drawing some blood in the process, his other hand shoving down his pants. He was lying there completely frozen as he still was exhausted and couldn't muster up the courage to say anything again. Even as he felt Hajoon stripping down his clothes he closed his eyes and let the older do whatever he wanted, already fearing the older as his body was as uncooperative as his mind, he felt the older tightly grabbing onto his shank making him groan in discomfort as he didn't dare to open his eyes.  
"Am I not enough for you anymore?" Hajoon whispered into his ear, using his second hand to spread his legs. He was angry and he didn't waste any time showing it. Without any warning the younger felt him thrusting in sharply, letting out a pained scream as tears filled his eyes. Never once had he felt such an immense pain nor the aggressive and quick way the older was moving. He only felt pain as he endured the older, giving in to his fatigue as his trembling legs limply fell against the blanket limitating the older's movement. He couldn't control his body and emotions anymore, the tears were continuously rolling down his cheeks as he felt his head mercilessly hitting the headrest. He was in a daze, only taking in everything until he felt that pain disappear. Not even a moment later he found his head pressed into the pillow as the older was now thrusting in sharper and faster than before, the angle allowing him to hit even deeper while digging his nails into his sides. Youngbin choked on his tears, letting out a strangled scream as he felt the older's weight on his back while continuing his movements. Being tall and muscular Hojoon weighed a lot more than him, making it even more painful as he let his whole weight thrust against him as he was lying flat on his stomach. He felt like his whole lower body was being destroyed, the fretting of his body against these bed sheets made him hiss out in pain. He missed the dazed feeling, now only feeling pain as he hoped for it to be over soon. He felt the scratches on his side and back, felt the painful thrusting and aggresive bite marks the older left on his shoulder blades. The moment he felt Hojoon's body spasm he let out a relieved breath knowing exactly that he was riding out his climax already feeling the older cumming. He was dizzy, feeling like he would pass out any second but relieved as soon as the older rolled over to lay down beside him. He was already closing his eyes to fall asleep as he heard the older letting out a shocked scream. He was too tired to ask until he felt himself being turned over harshly. There was a short silence before he heard Hojoon mumbling out in shock "There's so much blood"

"I can't do this anymore" he whispered, hot tears staining Sanghyuk's shirt already as he was tightly holding onto the younger.  
"Who ever did this isn't here now. It's only me Youngbin" he replied, feeling his heart clench at the sight.  
"You won't hurt me too, right?" Youngbin asked, looking at him with so much hurt and fear in his eyes that it made the younger hold back his own tears.  
"I won't. I promise" Sanghyuk whispered, making sure to hold onto the older while gently laying back down with him.


	23. 22

It wasn't only Youngbin who suffered of the nightmares and memories. He was young back then but he wasn't stupid, he pretended not to have heard or seen anything when in reality he still was haunted by the memories of everything his brother had to experience. He saw the bruises on his body and his broken spirit, he knew exactly what happened whenever he wasn't home and what his father said to him when he decided to search for help and tell their parents everything.  
Youngkyun was young but he understood and it scared him. It scared him to be different, to trust others and to love. He wanted to date but he couldn't do it, every time he met someone he liked he remembered everything as if he was the one experiencing it. He knew that Youngbin hated to talk about it or even remember it but Youngkyun couldn't forget the many sleepless nights they have spent together, him watching over his older brother to make sure he wouldn't get completely lost in his own thoughts and do something stupid. Youngkyun remembered how much his older brother relied on him, that the younger was his anchor, the one who would always be by his side and keep him safe. He was ashamed of himself, of everything that happened and the fact he relied on Youngkyun as if he was his older brother. Youngkyun knew everything and he would never forget even if he sometimes wished he wouldn't have been able to comprehend it all. It was this time of the year again, the months in which all of this took place and their nightmares started appearing again. It was this time Youngkyun was usually always with Youngbin, keeping him company as they were both trapped in their own thoughts. It was the first time Youngkyun was sitting in his room all alone, with his older brother not being home for the first time. He wanted him to be happy but he was worried that Sanghyuk would just play around, would only hurt his brother the longer they spent time with each other. Sometimes Youngkyun thought all of this affected him even more than Youngbin, having seen both sides, the way his parents reacted and the comfort he was seeking in the younger. Youngbin was scared of the wrong people whereas Youngkyun feared love and contact to other humans. He was scared of seeing them being disappointed or disgusted by him, making it hard for him to actually talk to others and make friends. Despite only being the one watching he was way more wary than his brother and he wasn't sure if this would ever change. Youngkyun saw his whole world crashing down once and he wasn't ready to witness it again without being able to do anything or being the cause of it this time. He was hoping that Youngbin wouldn't make the same mistake twice, that Sanghyuk was a good guy behind his player facade and that nothing bad would happen. It was already enough that his father left them, one of the most important people in Youngbin's and his life. He was always closer to his mother but he still looked up to his father and loved him but for Youngbin he was everything. Their father used to take him everywhere, wanting Youngbin to learn as much as possible and be a good father in the future. When he left the older was devastated, knowing that he was a disgrace to the only person he looked up to and wanted to become exactly like him. After he left, Youngkyun quickly grew up, despite being the youngest he knew he had to take care of their mother and Youngbin. It took months for the older to get back to his old self and they both knew it was all because of Youngkyun who never once complained or was tired of caring for them.  
Ever since this happened he knew that they were friends instead of brothers, friends who could talk about everything and protect each other and then Sanghyuk came into their life. As long as he would make his brother happy he could live with it but he just couldn't completely trust him, not after everything Chanhee told him. It was hard for him to trust people, that was probably the reason why he and Chanhee immediately became friends.   
There was only one person who made him a bit unsure about the fears he had. Yoo Taeyang made him question if there really were no people he could trust, the first person who got close to his heart in such a short amount of time. He was the sunshine in Youngkyun's life after such a hard time and he really wanted to trust him and show him who he really was but his fear was stronger than the emotions the older managed to stir up in him. He knew exactly that he couldn't avoid falling in love but he hoped that it wouldn't have come so early, that he would have time to figure his own feelings out before someone would appear in his life and make him question everything. It wasn't the fact that Taeyang was a guy, but the fact that he seemed trustworthy and caring.


	24. 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I messed up the whole storyline. I'm so sorry but I have reread it so many times but my brain just can't really differentiate between my drafts and the actual published chapters.

"Have you sorted things out with Juho hyung?" Chanhee asked as he saw Seokwoo stopping in front of him, still feeling guilty for not being able to help him with his current situation.  
"Yeah but can we please stop talking about Juho now? I'm with you, aren't I?" Seokwoo sighed with pleading eyes, not even trying to rest his arm around his shoulders which was very unusual for the older.  
"I'm sorry."  
"Let's just go home Chanhee. I'm tired" the older replied, starting to walk without even waiting for his answer. Chanhee has been knowing him for some time already and he has never once seen him act like this, making him wonder what was on his mind. He thought about asking Juho but he had the feeling that the older wouldn't tell him the truth just like his boyfriend.  
"Yah Seokwoo hyung wait for me" Chanhee called after the taller male, running to catch up with him.   
"I'm sorry. I'm just really exhausted. I'm sorry for treating you like that" he sighed, gently ruffling Chanhee's jet black hair.   
"Yah don't do that" Chanhee complained, pouting as he fixed his hair.  
"I'm sorry. I just couldn't hold myself back. Your hair always looks so fluffy."  
"Just don't do it anymore. I don't want to wash it every single day because of you" the younger replied, noticing how distant Seokwoo still looked.  
"Hyung you can just tell me if something's bothering you. I can go back home if you need some time to think."  
"No don't worry. Please stay with me tonight" Seokwoo pleaded, not wanting to be alone when he was so conflicted. He really hoped things would work out between him and his best friend, despite saying so he still wasn't really sure how much it will affect their friendship, knowing now that he was more to his older friend. He never even thought about the possibility of this happening, he wasn't even aware of the fact that he liked men before so he never thought about Juho like this. Now he knew exactly that he was looking at him the same way he saw Chanhee, that he was hiding his feelings for a long time and it all affected Seokwoo in a way. He was the kind of person to always make everyone happy, not wanting to let them down.  
"Hyung stop thinking so much. What exactly has been going on between you and Juho? I've never seen you so stressed out."  
"Chanhee I can't tell you. It will be over soon, I promise" the older reassured him, forcing a smile onto his lips. Of course the younger didn't believe him, he knew the older long enough to know exactly when he was lying.  
"Alright. I won't bother you any longer but let's go to my house. It's closer" Chanhee mumbled as he was walking beside the older, not saying another word as Seokwoo was completely lost in thoughts. He never noticed it before but it made his heart hurt to see the older so conflicted and completely out of it, he was used to him being happy and always bringing up only the good things. Now he realized how hard it must have been for him, to always be happy and positive about everything. He immediately regretted how he treated Seokwoo, that he always made him run after him and complained about the hardships he had to face. Thinking back he never really had a hard childhood or anything at all, it were his teenager hormones who made everything feel much worse than it actually was and left him with some sort of psychological trauma. He knew that therapy would help him but his brain told him that it would make it all worse so he did his best not to be forced to go to therapy. He knew that his life was rather easy, his mother loving and supporting him no matter what he did. He could live with other people staring at him because he was holding hands with another man but he couldn't let Seokwoo carry all of the responsibility while he was constantly trying to run off. Quietly he intertwined their hands, shyly looking up at Seokwoo as he looked at him in shock.  
"Chanhee" he started, not really knowing what he wanted to say as he still was processing what just had happened.  
"I'm sorry for always running away. I shouldn't be so cowardly" the younger mumbled, a real smile forming on the older's lips.  
"Everything is fine Chanhee. I'm really happy now" he whispered, really feeling happy in this moment.


	25. 24

"Thank you for walking me back home" Inseong replied as they arrived at his home, shyly looking down to the ground as Jaeyoon gently took his hands into his own.  
"As I said before, I'll come by tomorrow morning. Wait for me" Jaeyoon said, his thumb gently stroking the older's back of the hand.   
"Alright, I'll wait" Inseong said, a shy smile appearing on his lips as he looked from their hands up in Jaeyoon's face.  
"That's good" he nervously chuckled, still not letting go of the older's hand.  
"Take care of yourself while going home" the older replied, already worrying about his stronger friend.  
"Don't worry about me. Rest enough and sleep well."  
"I will."

They were standing there for a few a moments just looking at each other on the dimly light sidewalk in front of Inseong's home.  
"Can I kiss you" the younger suddenly blurted out, blushing as soon as he said it. Instead of answering Inseong only pulled him closer by his neck, gently kissing him as he got lost in the moment. It was sweet, gentle and everything they both wanted in this moment. It made them both a bit speechless as they parted, shy smiles being exchanged before the younger started speaking again.  
"It's late. I should probably go home."  
"You should rest enough" the older added, smiling at the younger before he stepped back.  
"Don't forget, I'll be here at 7 tomorrow. Sleep well my boyfriend" Jaeyoon replied, a bright smile on his face before starting his walk home.  
"I'll be here" Inseong mumbled to himself, gently touching his lips with a small smile as he thought back to everything that happened. Happily he unlocked the door and went inside, stepping out of his shoes at the entrance before joining his parents in the living room.   
"Eomeoni, abeoji, I'm home" he announced as he went inside, stopping in his tracks as he saw his father already standing in the doorway.  
"Where have you been? It's already close to midnight. You know exactly that you should come home immediately after school and study" his father replied, crossing his arms as he was talking to his son.  
"I know but my friend needed my help."  
"That so called friend you kissed right before our house?" he angrily replied, scaring his son at his outburst.  
"Please I can explain" Inseong replied, knowing exactly that his father probably wouldn't acknowledge their relationship.  
"What is there to explain? Do you know what people will say if they find out?"  
"Why care about what the other's say? I love him" Inseong almost yelled back, holding his cheek when he felt the impact of his father's hand on his cheek.  
"You're 19, you don't even know what love means. I don't care about what kind of girl you date as long as it isn't a boy. He doesn't deserve you."  
"I don't want any girl. I love Jaeyoon and I don't care if other people won't approve. I'm happy with him, I don't want somebody else."  
"You'll stop seeing him. I won't allow this and now go up and study" the middle aged man yelled, not caring about his only childs feeling at all.  
Reluctantly Inseong obeyed, walking up to his room without saying another word at all. He knew that studying was important so he could go to a good college and he already worked so hard for it, spending so many sleepless nights only to study and please his parents and now he couldn't even meet Jaeyoon without getting yelled at. He knew that it was going to be hard but he never expected it to start this early on in their relationship. He couldn't concentrate anymore, he could feel the tears well up in his eyes, the stinging pain reminding him of his father's outburst only minutes ago. He wantes to do well, to always make their parents happy and not be a burden and now even as he was giving his all they were not satisfied and it deeply hurt. It hirt him knowing that he still wasn't good enough even if he already was the best in their whole grade. He knew that it has been long since he broke down like that, his friends were always there to make him think of other things but now he even had to worry about his parents not finding out that he would secretly be meeting Jaeyoon. The whole situation felt so hopeless to him, making him cry even harder as he ignored the beeping of his phone.


	26. 25

"Chanhee? Are you ignoring me again?" Seokwoo called through the whole apartment, feeling upset again that his boyfriend wasn't talking to him since they reached the younger's apartment. He was upset as the younger was instantly gone the moment they entered, not knowing what exactly he had done wrong.  
"Seriously I thought everything was fine" he huffed while searching for him. He thought that Chanhee was finally getting better but now everything seemed to be like it was before, nothing having changed at all.  
"What have I done wrong this time?" he called out, hoping that Chanhee's parents weren't home.  
Again there was no response so Seokwoo was even more infuriated, storming through the bedroom door when he abruptly stopped, his heart beating faster than it was before. He never expected the younger to be lying on his bed cuddled up with a small kitty. Seokwoo felt bad for yelling so loud when he realized the younger was almost asleep, gently holding onto the kitty who was comfortably snuggled up against his chest. He was close to sitting down onto the bed beside him but he decided against it, knowing that Chanhee often had problems falling asleep so he just let him sleep after such a long day. Instead he decided to cook something, his stomach already grumbling and he was sure the younger was hungry too. Careful not to make any sounds he started cooking, silently humming to himself as he prepared the dish. He was completely lost in his own thoughts without noticing the front door open and close as he was cooking, startling him as soon as somebody was talking to him.  
"Ah you must be a friend of Chanhee, right?" the woman asked, making him turn around quickly.  
"Ah yes I'm Kim Seokwoo."  
"Nice to meet you Seokwoo-yah. I'm Chanhee's mother, just call me eomma too."  
"Ah thank you so much. I hope it was alright to use your kitchen. I'll replace the items I've used" he replied, making the older woman chuckle.  
"Don't worry Seokwoo-yah. It never lasts long with Chanhee, he's constantly hungry but I'm really glad that he's eating again" she said, a kinda worried smile on her face as she went closer to Seokwoo.  
"Again? Has he had problems with food before?" he asked, both curious and worried about the younger, knowing of his other mental illnesses.  
"He hasn't told you? I better shouldn't say anything then" she mumbled, helping him with cooking.  
"He told me about his depression and anxiety attacks but he didn't mention anything else."  
"He's been struggling a lot with his self-esteem. He had reoccurring eating disorders, starving himself until he was in hospital. He went to therapy and he was getting better but something happened where it all got worse, we still don't know what it was. Ever since that he refused to go to therapy, I'm was so worried about him but somehow he's been getting better over the past months. I'm sure it has something to do with you" she chuckled, making him freeze in shock.  
"Me?"  
"Yes. Ever since he started talking about you, he made a lot of progress. I was so happy when I saw him smiling for the first time after so many years."  
"I really hope I can help him more in the future" his mother added, starting to set the plates onto the table.  
"I think you're doing an amazing job to have such a well-mannered and kind son. Chanhee really is an amazing person."  
"Thank you Seokwoo-yah. Please take good care of him. He needs someone like you in his life and I'm more than grateful that he found you."  
"Ah eomma that's embarrassing" another voice suddenly exclaimed, a smile immediately forming on Seokwoo's lips as he saw his boyfriend with slightly ruffled hair and one of his shirts, way too big for him. His drowsiness only added to how cute he looked in this moment.  
"Ah Chanhee-yah why have you never told me that you have such a handsome friend? Why haven't you introduced him to me earlier?" she asked, immediately noticing the blush on his cheeks.  
"Ah eomma you have never been home whenever Seokwoo hyung was staying here" Chanhee replied, walking further into the kitchen.   
"Alright, I understand. Are you hungry? Your friend was nice enough to cook something."  
"Of course I'm hungry. Sanghyuk hyung ate almost my whole lunch" the younger complained, sitting down on the table beside his mother.   
"Yah Kang Chanhee get up and help Seokwoo" she scolded, making him immediately get up again.  
"Hyung can I help you?" he asked, voice a bit lower as usual due to him waking up just a few minutes ago, making Seokwoo's heart beating faster.  
"Uhm you can uhm help me cut these" Seokwoo stammered while handing him Vienna Sausages.  
"Okay" he replied, leaning onto the older while taking a knife from the knife bar.  
"C-Chanhee?" he stuttered, resulting in the younger innocently looking up at him.  
"What's wrong hyung?" he asked, pouting a bit at him.  
"N-no-nothing" he mumbled, silently continuing to cook the ramen.  
"I'm sorry Seokwoo-yah. Lately he's been rather clingy again. Just ignore it" his mother chuckled, shooting her son a playful look.  
"Why should he ignore it? I'm like that just because of him after all he's my boyfriend" the younger blurted out, carefully checking both his mother's and his boyfriend's shocked expression. He knew that it wasn't very well thought-out but he didn't knew how else he could have told her.


	27. 26

"Chanhee, Seokwoo sit down here for a second" Chanhee's mother requested after his blunt confession. It was now that he felt nervous and doubted his decision, hoping his mother and Seokwoo wouldn't be too mad at him.  
"I'm sorry" he mumbled, sitting down beside his mother while Seokwoo was sitting down on his other side.  
"Don't apologize. Chanhee you know that I love you and always will support you. You know very well that you've done irresponsible things in the past because of your mental health. I want to know how serious you are right now, I don't want you or Seokwoo to get hurt."  
"I know eomma but I'm really serious now. It's not a joke to me" he admitted, blushing as he looked down at his hands, nervously as everything was silent again.  
"Chanhee you're almost 17 now. I trust you with your choices but are you really sure you can mentally handle it?" she worriedly asked, remembering the situations in the past.

"Chanhee please don't do this. Open up the door" she yelled while crying, slamming her fist onto the door while trying to open the locked door.  
"Kang Chanhee I'll call an ambulance if you won't open up right now" she added, pressing her ear onto the door while trying to make out any sounds in the room. She has seen it before, knew exactly what happened before and she was anxious to see what will happen this time. She stayed still for a minute, frantically banging her hand against the door after she couldn't make out any signs of life from her son. Tears were streaming down her face as she grabbed her phone, quickly dialing the emergency number. She was already so used of telling them what happened that the call ended after a minute. It was a few seconds later when the lock finally clicked and she stormed into the room, seeing exactly what she expected.  
"Chanhee, what happened this time?" she whispered while kneeling down beside him, embracing the teenager quietly as she held onto his bleeding wrists.  
"Eomma help me, I can't do this anymore. It hurts so much" he cried, tiredly leaning his head onto her shoulder as he was close to losing his consciousness.  
"Stay with me Chanhee. What exactly is hurting you?"  
"Living" he simply mumbled, closing his eyes as everything slowly become black, the blood continuously streaming down his fingers.

"I'm sure eomma. He's making me feel better and I can handle the other kids at school. I'm already so used to it all."  
"I really trust you and I believe that you say the truth. I just want you to be happy" she mumbled, quickly wiping at the tears threatening to escape her eyes.  
"I am the happiest when I am with Seokwoo" Chanhee replied, smiling when he felt the older holding his hand underneath the table.  
"I'm really sorry Mrs. Kim. I know that it's not an easy situation but I would never allow someone to hurt him, not when he's with me. I really love him and I'll promise to take care of him no matter what."  
"Seokwoo-yah I've already told you how to address me. I trust you both, alright? Just don't make any stupid mistakes" she replied with a smile, looking at the two boys looking in front of her.  
"Thank you eomma" they both replied in unison, bowing a bit making her chuckle.  
"You boys. I should have known it beforehand. Chanhee has never brought home friends before."  
"Stop embarassing me eomma" the youngest whined, quickly hiding his blush by lowering his head.  
"It's not embarrassing, it's cute" Seokwoo replied, tightening his grip around Chanhee's hand a bit.  
"Let's eat before the food will get cold" his mother said while standing up to bring the food.  
"I'm glad that you told her and that she supports us" the older whispered into his boyfriend's ear, making him smile before they all started to eat together.


	28. 27

"Youngkyun-ah, how was school?" his mother asked as he walked into the kitchen, sighing when he sat down.   
"It was weird. So many things happened at once" he mumbled, running his fingers through his hair.  
"So? What exactly happened?" she asked while setting down everything for dinner.  
"I don't even know what exactly happened? It was so chaotic."  
"Fine. Do you know if your brother will be home tomorrow?" she asked while sitting down on the table, starting to eat.  
"I think so, he hasn't said something else" Youngkyun mumbled, starting to eat the food his mother made for him.  
"That's good. So what about you? Is there something you're interested in?"  
"Me? Interested in someone? N-not really" he mumbled, blushing a bit when an image of Taeyang suddenly appeared in his mind. Quickly he shook his head as he thought about the possibility of liking him.  
"That's why you're blushing like that?" his mother teasingly asked, noticing how shocked he suddenly looked.  
"No it's not that I like him, he's just a good friend" he whispered to himself, trying to forget how charming the older looked whenever he looked at him.   
"Him?" his mother surprisedly asked, making her youngest son pout at her.  
"It's not like that, he's just a friend."  
"Youngkyun-ah you know that it's not wrong to be in love, no matter if it's a girl or a boy. You can love whoever you want as long as it makes you happy."  
"No I don't want to experience the same things as Youngbin hyung" he mumbled, remembering the nightmares his older brother experienced and the way their father left.  
"Not everyone is like Hajoon. Nobody could have known what would happen. Your brother was just really unlucky" his mother reassured him.  
"But what if I'm just as unlucky?" he mumbled, not wanting to fall in love and experience the harsh reality of it  
"Youngkyun-ah are you afraid of falling in love because of what happened to your brother?" she carefully asked, setting down her chopsticks before walking to him and kneeling down in front of him while tightly holding onto his hands.  
"I saw what he went through. I saw how long it took him to be himself again. I saw his bruises and how much he wanted to die, how depressed he was after father left. He was scared of telling you, scared that nobody would understand and will be disgusted. He only wanted someone to know what really happened, he wanted someone to talk to but father just made it worse and left. Youngbin hyung really loved him despite everything he did to him and he loved his father. I knew that Hajoon would sometimes get mad at him but I never thought he would be this extreme. I could have prevented it all if I would have told you."  
"No it's not your fault. It was our fault for not noticing, for not questioning the blood stains in his clothes or that he would stay away for such a long time. We should have been there for him while it was only you all the time. You weren't supposed to be the strong one, it was supposed to be me and your father. It was wrong that I didn't stop him and just let him leave. I should have been a better mother for the both of you."  
"No eomma it wasn't your fault. You always took care of us and made sure that we were happy and protected" he mumbled, feeling tears well up in his eyes.  
"Youngkyun-ah let's just say it was all very unlucky that happened. But it doesn't have to be like that. You can never know how things will turn out beforehand."  
"That's why I'm so scared. Nobody can tell me what will happen and I don't want to risk it. I don't want to live like Youngbin hyung these past years."  
"Who is you were talking about before? Your male friend?" she curiously asked, wanting to know who managed to make her youngest son so confused.  
"Taeyang. He's a friend of Chanhee."  
"And he did what exactly in order to make you question your feelings?"  
"Existing. He's perfect without doing anything" he groaned, not wanting to think more about him.  
"Have you ever felt something like that towards anyone else? Have you ever thought of someone being 'perfect'?" she asked and her son shook his head, immediately noticing what she was trying to tell him.  
"You mean that I only think of him like that because I'm in love with him?"   
"It would be a possible explanation. Just wait and see what will happen."  
"Do you think my feelings will grow stronger?" Youngkyun timidly asked, still fearing the possibly off being in love.  
"It can happen or not. Don't stress yourself over such things and just enjoy your life as a teenager" she replied, only wanting her children to be happy and forget the bad things that happened to them already.


	29. 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!I know I messed up the timeline of it all (I think? I'm not sure anymore) but I already wrote this chapter and it's so cute. If I messed up just think of it as a Bonus chapter, if not then it's a regular chapter!!!

Sanghyuk felt uneasy when he woke up the next morning, Youngbin cuddled up tightly in his embrace while sleeping. It wasn't because of his breakdown but more the cause of it, he hated to see him completely worked up and sad but he couldn't help him yet. He didn't know what caused it so he didn't know if he should just ask him or wait for the older to tell him. He was conflicted and it got worse the longer he thought about it, resulting in him staying awake almost the whole night. He knew that it was something awful that must have happened, something he didn't want to talk about or relive it but Sanghyuk just needed to know sooner or later, for now he thought he wouldn't pressure him and just act like nothing happened at all. Carefully he cuddled a bit closer to the older male in his arms, taking in his warmth as he closed his eyes to sleep a bit more. He was about to finally fall asleep when his alarm suddenly rang, waking them both up. It took Youngbin a few moments to fully wake up and realize how close he actually was to Sanghyuk, making him blush a little.  
"Good morning" the younger mumbled, rubbing his eyes as his other hand was still holding onto him tightly.   
"Good morning" he replied, feeling his stomach churn a little when he noticed the younger looking directly at him.  
"Is something wrong?"  
"No but you look so pretty, even in the morning or while crying"Sanghyuk mumbled, not realizing that he spoke his thoughts out loud.  
"Please don't mock me" Youngbin replied quietly, remembering how Hajoon always used to mock him whenever he could.

"Are you still not ready Youngbin-ah? What's taking you so long. We're already too late" Hajoon called through the small apartment, eyes glued to his phone as he heard the squeaking of the bathroom door being opened.  
"You won't look better no matter what you do to make yourself look prettier" he muttered under his breath, not realizing that the younger was already standing in the same room.  
"I'm sorry for making you wait" he replied in a hushed voice, trying to suppress the upcoming hurt from the previous comment.  
"Let's go then. We've already wasted too much time already."  
"I wanted to make a good first impression" Youngbin replied while following the older, almost running into him as he abruptly stopped in his tracks.  
"Why does it matter, huh? You're with me so it doesn't matter what impression you'll make. Besides my friends only like pretty things."  
"I understand" the younger muttered while walking past Hajoon, not even feeling in the mood to go out anymore.

"I would never mock you. I really mean it" Sanghyuk replied, his body acting completely on it's own as he gently run his hand over the older's cheek.  
"Sanghyuk" he mumbled, not exactly knowing what to say or do.  
"Don't worry. I don't know why you were so panicked this night but I promise you that I won't hurt you. I don't have any experiences how relationships work but I want to try my best for you. I want to change myself for you and make you happy no matter what. You don't need to tell me what happened but I'll always be here for you and take care of you" Sanghyuk blurted out, surprised by his sudden confession.  
"You could never love somebody like me" the older sighed, feeling his heart clench as he just said what the small voice in his head told him.  
"Don't say something like that. Why would you say such things?"  
"Because it's true. I should have listened to my father."  
"Whatever it was, your father wasn't right."  
"He was, he warned me before and I ignored him and now this is what I became. I'm not worth of being loved" the older mumbled, feeling all of the feelings from the past years come to life again.  
"Youngbin don't ever think of yourself like that. No matter what happened, forget about it. You're living in the present, here with me and there are so many good things about you. You deserve everything and I'll give you all that I'm capable of, I promise you" Sanghyuk whispered while sitting up, taking the older's hands into his while looking into his eyes. Sanghyuk never felt like that, it was unfamiliar to him but when he saw the way Youngbin looked at him, all of the emotions playing in his eyes he knew that this was what he wanted. He didn't need a different one night stand every night, he didn't need any girl to relive his desires, he only needed Youngbin being with him and allowing him to love him and being loved. He wanted to learn, to make mistakes and apologize afterwards. He wanted to finally feel how it would be to have someone to talk, to trust and to experience everything with. He never was so desperately trying to get someone to stay with him, he never felt the need to make someone stay but Youngbin showed him a completely different world. He knew it wouldn't be easy, that they both experienced quite some things already but he wanted to them to try their hardest and make it work. Sanghyuk wanted to finally be committed, to be a good boyfriend and make his partner happy no matter what. He wanted to protect Youngbin and make sure he would never be sad, but for that he needed the older to see himself in the way he saw him. Not perfect but incredibly close to it.


	30. 29

"Please don't come tomorrow morning. My father is driving me to school" Inseong sent to Jaeyoon before going to sleep, feeling uneasy as he thought back to his father's outburst and to what would happen if his father and Jaeyoon met. He turned his phone off, hoping the younger would just accept it and wouldn't show up the next morning. The whole night he had nightmares, fearing that his parents would find out that he wouldn't stop seeing Jaeyoon, he just couldn't. He liked him for so many years already, ever since they met. Inseong could exactly remember their first meeting and not long after he realized that he maybe liked him a bit too much.

"Class starting from today on you'll have a new classmate, Lee Jaeyoon. I expect you all to treat him nicely" the middle school teacher introduced a tall boy, making most of the girls immediately starting to whisper. Jaeyoon was slightly uncomfortable due to that, his nervousness increasing as he saw all of the disapproving faces from the male students. There was only one student who didn't even pay attention at all, instead writing something in his notebook.   
"The Class President will show you around later. For now you can sit there" she said, pointing to an empty seat almost at the far end of the class. He has always been a bit self-conscious so the whispers didn't help him at all, making him feel completely out of place while walking towards his assigned desk.

"Lee Jaeyoon, right? " a boy stopped in front of his desk at the beginning of their break, making him look directly at the one person who didn't care about his arrival.  
"Ah yes" he replied nervously, surprised when the other boy brightly smiled at him.  
"My name is Kim Inseong, I'm the Class President. Let's go have lunch".

It didn't take long for Inseong and Jaeyoon to grow closer, making it easier for Jaeyoon to adjust to everything in the school and not getting mocked too much. It was not hard to hear Jaeyoons heavy Busan dialect and most students weren't really fond of it, having trouble understanding him at times. To Inseong his dialect sounded lovely and interesting, it was exciting for him to hear the different dialect and learn it himself. It made Jaeyoon happy that his new friend wasn't judging him but wanting to learn it so he could understand him better and talk to him without him having to adjust. In Inseongs eyes it was fair for both of them to adjust, in school they were talking without dialect and out of school Inseong would show him at how much he improved. He didn't exactly know when or why he started falling in love with Jaeyoon. Maybe it was a combination of his dialect, dimples and kind personality or maybe it all started when they were growing up and the younger started working out. Inseong still had no idea, all he knew was that he was head over heels in love with the younger.

Sighing Inseong turned over in his bed, trying to finally fall asleep. He couldn't afford to be sleepy in class, he was the top student after all and failing even one exam wasn't acceptable. He had to give his all, his parents wouldn't accept him giving only 99%. He knew that Jaeyoon understood, he knew his parents and how much they expected of their only son. It was Jaeyoon, his sweet, kind and patient Jaeyoon. He could talk with him about everything and knew he would understand, he wanted him to know how much he struggled right now but he couldn't. His pride didn't allow him too and he never stood up to his parents, no matter what it was he would always listen to them in the end. This time he didn't want to give up this early, he needed Jaeyoon by his side but he also knew that his parents needed time. If he would force them to accept their relationship right now it would make everything worse. For now he could only hope that Jaeyoon would be patient enough.

It wasn't easy to fall asleep and when he woke up in the morning he still felt the exhaustion from the previous day. There wasn't much he could do about it so he just got ready, joining his parents at the table to eat enough in order to be able to concentrate.   
"From now on I'll drive you to school and take you home as soon as your classes end. You won't see any of your friends before or after school, you'll study in your break and at home. Understood that?" his father announced during breakfast, his gaze hard on his son.  
"Yes I understand father but I've scheduled a meeting with a coordinator today after school. The meeting ends at midnight."  
"I'll be there at midnight then" he replied, finishing his breakfast. Inseong felt bad for lying to his parents but he needed to talk with Jaeyoon, it wouldn't be fair to just stay away from him after confessing. He already felt bad enough for writing him yesterday and then turning off his phone. For now he only hoped that luck was on his side and everything would work out for him.


	31. 30

"If you don't feel like going to school just stay here" Sanghyuk said as he found the older standing in front of the bathroom mirror.  
"I have to fetch Youngkyun and drive him to school. Besides it's our last year I can't just stay at home" he sighed, snapping out of his thoughts as he looked at the younger through the mirror.  
"It's your decision but I think one day won't hurt you."  
"But my mother would. I promised her to work hard this year and graduate from this school. Staying at home isn't an option Sanghyuk" Youngbin replied sternly, turning away from the mirror as he couldn't look at himself any longer.  
"I don't want to see you suffering like that. I'm not stupid and I know that whatever happened is still on your mind. I just want to help you but I don't know how" the younger frustratedly replied, remembering how worked up he was after his nightmare.  
"I'm fine, don't worry Sanghyuk-ah. I have to go now or else Youngkyun will be late because of me" Youngbin said with a fake smile, hoping that the younger wouldn't notice.  
"Fine we'll see each other in school then" Sanghyuk called out as he watched the older leave, sighing when he followed him to also drive to school. He was still wondering since when he was so caring, actually worrying about someone other than him. It amazed him to see what an effect the older boy had on him after such a short amount of time.  
"Take care of you Youngbin" he mumbled to himself, getting lost in thoughts while walking down the hallway to get his bag and car keys. He just hoped that everything would work out for them even if it all seemed hopeless for now. When he walked out of the house he was surprised to see that Youngbin was still here, worrying him when he saw him resting his head against his steering wheel. Not thinking much about it he went over to him, opening the driver's door and placing a hand on his shoulder.  
"I don't think you should drive today. Do you want to stay here or should I drive you home?" Sanghyuk softly asked, feeling his heart clench when he saw the older's scared expression.  
"I can't. I have to" he mumbled, shaking his head slightly to chase away his bad thoughts.  
"How about I'll drive? You tell me where you live and we'll pick Youngkyun up and then drive to school" Sanghyuk offered, hoping to somehow help him.  
It was silent for a few moments before the older nodded, grabbing his backpack and getting out of his car.  
Sanghyuk knew that things definitely changed, a few weeks ago he would have never thought he would ever be in such a situation. He never expected himself to get attached to someone, caring about them and developing emotions. He never expected that the happy boy he met in school suffered from his own dark thoughts and would end up as the most silent person Sanghyuk ever met. A few weeks ago he would have been bothered by it, he maybe wouldn't have befriended him but now he was falling deeper and deeper.  
"It's not far from here. Just drive straight and I'll tell you when to turn" Youngbin said as the younger started the car, still sounding a bit worked up.  
They didn't talk much as it wasn't a long drive, the moment Sanghyuk parked his car the older got out to fetch his brother. Sanghyuk couldn't stop worrying and he wanted to be the person bringing back his smile, making him the happy person he seemed to be.

"Youngkyun-ah. Are you ready?" he called out as he entered. It took a few minutes for the younger to appear in front of him, dark eyecircles visible as he seemingly didn't sleep much as well.  
"They are back, right hyung?" he asked as soon as he saw his older brother, hugging him when he only nodded.  
"I just want to forget it all Youngkyun-ah. I was fine and then it all started again" he mumbled, feeling the soothing vibration of his brother humming.  
"I know hyung. I'm the same. I couldn't stop worrying about you as you weren't here. No matter how much I distract myself I always remember it."  
"Let's go to school. Maybe we'll be able to think about other things then" Youngbin sighed, letting go of his brother.  
"We'll be fine, right?" Youngkyun asked a bit uncertainly, thinking to his crush or whatever made Taeyang seem so perfect in his eyes.   
"We'll be alright. At least I hope so" Youngbin replied, forcing a small smile onto his face to reassure his younger brother even if he himself wasn't really sure about it.


	32. 31

"Thank you for driving" Youngbin replied to the younger as they parked at their school, forcing a small smile onto his face. He felt bad that Sanghyuk had to deal with this, with him being like this and constantly lost in thoughts. He didn't deserve it, it was his past after all and Sanghyuk did nothing wrong. He didn't notice that the younger wasn't irritated at all, worry written all over his face as he followed the older into the school. The only person who noticed was Youngkyun, deciding to talk with him to clear everything up.   
"Can I talk with you for a second?" Youngkyun asked, gently holding onto Sanghyuk's arm to stop him.  
"Of course. Is everything alright?" the older asked, looking back at Youngbin once again before reverting all of his attention to his younger brother.  
"Not really but I wanted to apologize. I was a bit prejudiced after hearing about some things from your friends. I just wanted to say I'm sorry and I hope you take good care of my brother."  
"You don't have to apologize, the other's were right all along. I want to take care of him but he won't let me" he sighed, a small giggle escaping Youngkyun's mouth.  
"He will soon enough. It's just a lot of things happened in the past and he's a bit careful now not to fall in love too early. What happened to him was harsh, I won't tell you though. Just wait and be there for him and he'll tell you eventually. He really likes you Sanghyuk hyung, he isn't just looking for fun."  
"I aren't either. I mean in the past yes but he's different in many ways. He really is special, he managed to make me realize quite a few things" the older mumbled, still feeling a bit awkward about his confession.  
"I'll talk with him later and it would be the best if he would come home tonight. This time of the year isn't really easy for us all."   
"Of course. I won't interfere at all, I just want the best for him."  
"Thank you Sanghyuk hyung. I've changed my mind. I think you're quite a good match" the younger replied with a small smile as he started walking into the school, Sanghyuk running after him with a big smile.  
He just sat down on his assigned desk, waiting for his other friends and teacher to come in and start the lesson, he wouldn't pay much attention either way. He let his head fall down onto the desk, trying to sleep a bit more. He never was interested in going to a good college or getting good grades, he just wanted to graduate. His parents were never satisfied with him no matter what he did so he stop caring about it all in middle school. High school was supposed to be fun, meeting girls and getting drunk on the weekend and looking back he fulfilled everything he promised himself at the beginning of his first year. The only thing he felt regretful about was that his parents not even cared about his bad grades and just accepted it. He knew that he wasn't perfect or the son they always wanted but he just wished for more attention from them, which he never received.  
"Aish what are you thinking about again" he mumbled while shaking his head a bit, trying to get rid of those thoughts. He looked up just in time to see Inseong and Jaeyoon walk in, whispering to each other.   
"What's going on here?" he asked as he turned around to them.  
"Nothing. What do you think is going on?"  
"You're behaving weird. Have you finally confessed to each other?" he asked, smirking when he saw them blushing.  
"Congratulations then. It was about time for that to happen" he chuckled, immediately earning a slap from both of them.  
"Seriously Sanghyuk why are you always so nosy? Besides I really hope you told him the truth" Inseong grumbled, his gaze landing on Youngbin who was seemingly sleeping on his desk before looking back at his friend.  
"I've told him everything, he wasn't mad at me."  
"Seriously, I probably wouldn't be able to forgive you after that."  
"I'd never sleep with you so don't worry" Sanghyuk replied before turning back around, feeling the odler glare at him.  
"I wouldn't either Lee Sanghyuk" he grumbled, opening his books to distract him from getting mad. Sanghyuk's happiness from annoying his older friend only lasted for a short while, soon thinking about Youngbin again. He just couldn't help it, he has always been curious and from the things he already knew about him it must have been something very traumatizing for him to constantly space out. There were a lot of things that came to his mind bit he definitely wouldn't ask the older about it, he just needed to be patient and wait for him to trust him. Thinking more about he truly hated his past, constantly being with butlers instead of his parents amd always getting scolded whenever his parents weren't satisfied. He thought back to the many times he wished for his parents attention, their approval of him and them telling them that they were proud of him. It never happened, making him still wait for it.


	33. 32

Inseong what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Jaeyoon questioned as he followed Inseong, noticing how stressed out he seemed.  
"Jaeyoon my parents saw us yesterday and they aren't happy about us. My father has forbade me to see any of my friends again and focus solely on studying" the older sighed, facing his boyfriend with a serious expression.  
"Oh" the younger mumbled, feeling bad for assuming things without waiting for Inseong to tell him.  
"I've told him that I have a meeting with a coordinator for the college entrance exams until midnight. We have 2 hours and I want to come with you Jaeyoon" he replied, taking him by surprise.  
"O-of course. My parents aren't home for the next 2 days" the younger stuttered, nervously blushing a bit when he saw the older's slight smirk.  
"Jaeyoon-ah I don't want to rush things but we both have known each other for such a long time already" he said while stepping closer to his best friend, looking down before looking at him again.  
"Don't you think it's too early?"  
"If you're uncomfortable tell me, I can wait but I've been in love with you for so many years now, I feel ready" the older replied, makikg his boyfriend blush a little bit.  
"What happens will happen, right? Let's go to class or else we'll be late" the younger replied, following his boyfriend to class as the older already started walking.   
"But hyung, aren't you afraid of what will happen if your father finds out?" Jaeyoon asked as they sat down beside each other.  
"He already hit me yesterday so I'm not afraid of him."  
"He has hit you?" the younger exclaimed in shock, immediately being gently smacked by Inseong.  
"Yell louder so the whole class knows it" he grumbled, pulling out his smartphone to see if his makeup still covered the bruise.  
"How could he do that? You're his only son" Jaeyoon replied, trying to restrain himself from getting angry.  
"And gay so that makes me a disgrace. It's even worse for him than bade grades."  
"He should be happy to have such an amazing son like you. You're smart, kind and good looking, is there even anything you lack?"  
"I'm too chubby" the older immediately replied, turning around and putting his finger to Jaeyoon's mouth just before he wanted to open it to protest.  
"Don't you dare and say such things like 'You aren't' or 'You're perfect'".  
"I just wanted to say that you look cute. Besides I have chubby cheeks too."  
"But you don't have a chubby belly, I do."  
"In my eyes you're still perfect" the younger replied, already expecting the slap on his arm.  
"You have never seen it so don't say such things."  
"We'll see" Jaeyoon chuckled, looking up when he felt Sanghyuk's gaze on him.  
"What's going on here?" the younger asked as he turned around to them.  
"Nothing. What do you think is going on?" Jaeyoon replied, looking at Sanghyuk with a raised eyebrow.   
"You're behaving weird. Have you finally confessed to each other?" he asked, smirking when he saw them blushing.  
"Congratulations then. It was about time for that to happen" he chuckled, immediately earning a slap from both of them.  
"Seriously Sanghyuk why are you always so nosy? Besides I really hope you told him the truth" Inseong grumbled, his gaze landing on Youngbin who was seemingly sleeping on his desk before looking back at his friend.  
"I've told him everything, he wasn't mad at me."  
"Seriously, I probably wouldn't be able to forgive you after that."  
"I'd never sleep with you so don't worry" Sanghyuk replied before turning back around, feeling the older glare at him.  
"I wouldn't either Lee Sanghyuk" he grumbled, opening his books to distract him from getting mad.  
"He's always like that, don't get mad" Jaeyoon replied while softly massaging his shoulders.  
"I know but he's still really annoying sometimes."  
"We can all be annoying sometimes hyung" the slightly younger laughed, earning a slightly irritated glare from his boyfriend.   
"Yoon-ah do you really like me as I am?" the older suddenly asked, looking at him with an insecure expression.  
"Of course. I would never lie to you."  
"You better not lie to me right now" the older warned, immediately shutting up when he saw their teacher walking in.


	34. 33

Youngkyun still wasn't really sure about his feelings for Taeyang, he definitely felt happier whenever he saw him. His smile was infectious and the younger just couldn't help but smile whenever the older was smiling too, it was true that Taeyang was just like his name. He was always bright, radiating good energy wherever he went. It was like he was truly the sun, making everyone happy just by his mere presence. He didn't know if it was love or if it was just the effect Taeyang had on everyone, after all he had no idea how it felt to be in love. He couldn't stop himself from looking at him whenever he had the chance to, his stomach churning every time he did so.   
"Is everything alright Youngkyun-ah?" Taeyang asked him during lunch, only looking at the older without eating one bit.  
"Yeah I'm just a bit lost in thoughts" he replied, trying to eat at least a little bit. He just wasn't really hungry at all, not when he felt like he had a thousand butterflies in his stomach, feeling nervous without any reason.  
"If you feel sick I can go to the nurse with you" Taeyang offered but Youngkyun only shook his head.  
"I'm not sick" the younger stated once again, continuing to eat a bit of rice with kimchi. He didn't really know why he was suddenly feeling sad, knowing that Taeyang didn't offer it because he liked him but because Taeyang was always trying to help everyone. It wasn't like he wanted Taeyang to specifically care about him or worry about him but he still felt a bit sad all of a sudden.   
It wasn't only Youngkyun who was silently eating, he already noticed in class that Chanhee was rather distant and in a sombre mood. He wanted to ask him about it but something deep down inside of him stopped him from doing it, it was like he wasn't in the position to. There was so much on his mind, so many things have changed ever sine Youngbin and him transferred to this school, making him feel like one year already passed even if it were only a few days.   
"Let's go back to class. Our teacher won't be happy if we're late" Juho nudged Seokwoo who only nodded, looking back at Chanhee worriedly before walking off with his best friend. Things still weren't completely fine between them but they both just couldn't stay away from each other. For now Chanhee, Taeyang and Youngkyun were the only ones left since their older friends had lunch a bit later this day.  
"I'll go to class first. I still have to finish the exercise from before" Chanhee replied, not waiting for his friends to reply before leaving.   
"Youngkyun-ah can I ask you something?" Taeyang asked after a few minutes of silence, taking the younger by surprise.  
"Do you maybe want to go out with me?" the older asked after Youngkyun nodded at him in response.  
"Like a date?" he surprisedly asked, his heart beating faster when he waited for Taeyang's answer.  
"No no don't worry, I'm not gay but friends can go out together too, right?" the older chuckled as he smiled at him brightly.  
"Yes of course, I'm not either" Youngkyun replied, feeling his heart clench a bit.  
"Our friends must have influenced us to think of everything as a date."  
"Yeah maybe. When do you want to go out?"  
"Tomorrow? Going for lunch and then playing soccer or basketball?" Taeyang proposed, still smiling brightly at him.  
"Yeah sounds good. Where?"  
"Where do you live? I can come over and then we can go together."  
"I'll send you my adress later" Youngkyun replied to which the older only nodded.  
Youngkyun was even more confused, feeling so hurt by what Taeyang said even if he didn't want to admit that he could be in love with him.   
"I think we should go to class too" Taeyang replied, waiting for Youngkyun to stand up and follow him out of the canteen.   
"I'll finish this but you can go first."  
"But what if you get into trouble?" the older asked, making Youngkyun snort. Why would he suddenly care about him like that?  
"I won't and now go to your class before you're the one getting into trouble."  
"Fine but I expect you to go to your class on time. I'll ask Chanhee about it" Taeyang warned, his smile turning into a serious expression.  
"Do what you think is right" Youngkyun mumbled, watching the older leave before letting out a low groan.  
"Why are you so stupid Kim Youngkyun? Are you seriously developing feelings right now?" his head was spinning, he couldn't stop thinking about the way he was feeling when he was with Taeyang and how much it hurt to hear the older tell him he wasn't into boys. He never thought he would ever fall in love with another boy like his brother. He wanted to hit himself, it couldn't be true. He loved his brother and his new friends but he never wished for falling in love with a girl so badly as he did now. He was scared and he didn't want Taeyang to be the first person who broke his heart.


	35. 34

"Youngbin can I talk to you?" Sanghyuk asked after their classes ended, a nervous smile on his face.   
"Of course. Is everything alright?" the older asked, walking up to the younger.  
"Yeah are you alright? I've been worried the whole day."  
"Yes I'm fine" he sighed, already knowing that Sanghyuk wouldn't believe him.   
"Sorry for asking. So back to my question. Do you maybe want to go out with me on Sunday?"   
"Todays Saturday, so tomorrow?" the older asked while the younger only nodded, too nervous to actually speak.  
"Of course. When?"  
"We could go eat lunch somewhere and then we can just spontaneously decide what we'll do after."  
"Sounds good."  
"If you want to I can drive" the younger offered, feeling his heart drop when the older shook his head.  
"No I will drive, as a thank you for driving us today."  
"If you insist" Sanghyuk replied with a smile, starting to walk down the hall with Youngbin.  
"I do insist. I'm older so I should drive" he replied, smiling at Sanghyuk for the first time this day.   
'He looks so much prettier when he's smiling' Sanghyuk thought to himself, not being able to keep his gaze off of the older. He noticed the older blushing, making him wonder if he could read his thoughts by now.  
"You shouldn't say such things out loud" Youngbin remarked, trying to hide his smile caused by the compliment.  
"I've said that out loud? I didn't mean to. It just crossed my thoughts and it's true but I never thought I would blurt it out like that" the younger stammered, now being the one blushing.   
"Do you really think that? That I'm pretty when I smile?"  
"More than that. You're breathtakingly beautiful whenever you smile" Sanghyuk truthfully replied, feeling his heart beat rapidly increasing.  
"Do you want me to prove it that I mean it?" he asked, smiling when he saw Youngbin's confused look.  
"Can you prove it?"  
"I can" he proudly replied before stopping in front of his car.  
"Give me your hand" Sanghyuk demanded while holding out his own, waiting for the older to trust him.  
"We're in school."  
"It's nothing that could get us into trouble" he reassured him, patiently waiting until Youngbin finally gave him his hand.  
Smiling Sanghyuk gripped his wrist, as gentle as possible, and guided it to his chest. Without any pressure he put his hand over the older's, letting him feel his rapid heartbeat.  
"Nobody else managed to make me speechless or my heart beat like this. You're the only one who ever made me rethink my life choices and helped me realize who I really am. My heart is beating only for you" Sanghyuk confessed, looking up to meet Youngbin's gaze, feeling like he was hit by lightning. His whole body was suddenly tingling and he felt butterflies in his stomachs all while feeling like his heart might burst if it continued to beat like that. He didn't know if it was because he realized just how much he liked Youngbin or if it was the gentle touch sending tingles straight to his heart.   
"Sanghyuk" the older started, not moving his hand away at all. Sanghyuk could feel himself getting even more excited, his heartbeat audible in his ears as he waited for his answer.   
"Hyung please let's go home now" a voice suddenly rang through the air, making Youngbin snap out of his trance and stepping away from Sanghyuk before Youngkyun stopped in front of them a few seconds later.  
"Of course. Sanghyuk-ah can you drive us back to your house? From there I can drive with my own car."  
"Uh of course" the younger replied, clearing his throat in embarassing before getting into his car.  
"Did something happen?" Youngkyun asked to which his brother only shook his head, quickly boarding the car.  
Despite his brother's response Youngkyun knew exactly that something wasn't quite alright. Whatever it was had the two older boys blushing and avoiding each other's gazes like crazy. There wasn't much that came to the younger's mind but he was sure that it wouldn't take that long for them to finally admit how much in love they were. If Youngkyun learned one thing about his brother it was how he behaved when he was head over heels in love with someone and until now he has never seen him behaving like that. No matter what they said but Sanghyuk was already one the most important persons in his brothers life and he would do everything for them to be happy.


	36. 35

"Let's go home. We don't have much time left" Inseong said while stuffing all of his books into his backpack, waiting for the younger to do the same. The whole day he has been bored, the teachers only helping the other students understand the questions for the exam and now he wanted to finally get his mind off of learning.  
"Yeah let's go home" he repeated, smiling when Inseong bumped his shoulder against his, walking as close as possible beside him.   
"I'm glad you don't live that far away" the older flirted as they were leaving the school building, immersing into the darkness. Not even two minutes after they were outside of the school grounds Inseong grabbed the younger's hand, smiling brightly at him.  
"Seriously I'm so happy to be able to call you my boyfriend" he admitted, making the younger boy smile as brightly as he was.  
"I am too. It's been so many years that I've liked you. We should thank Sanghyuk for bringing us together."  
"Definitely not. I won't thank him for blurting out my secret" Inseong huffed, hearing Jaeyoon chuckle right beside him.  
"Fine then don't. Should we get something to eat?" he asked as they were walking closer to a convenience store.  
"No I have to be back at school by midnight also I'm not really hungry. I'm on a diet and you'll definitely be thankful for that."  
"Stop saying this. I already like you just like you are right now. You don't need to be skinny or muscular, what matters is that you like me too. I would date you even with crooked teeth and 100 pounds more" the younger reassured, bringing their intertwined hands up and gently kissing them.  
"Eh greasy, since when are you like that?"   
"I've always been like that but you've never noticed."  
"I'm glad I haven't" Inseong chuckled, not missing the way Jaeyoon rolled his eyes at him.  
The walk wasn't very long, approximately 15 minutes. When they reached the apartment everything was dark, Jaeyoon's parents obviously not around anymore.   
"Wow I haven't been here in such a long time" the older mumbled while walking through the empty condo, stopping in front of Jaeyoon's room.  
"Is this still yours?" he asked and entered when his boyfriend nodded, nodding as he saw that not much had changed.  
"It's almost exactly as I remember it. I like it" he said while sitting down on his bed.  
"Hyung can you show me? I'm really curious now" the younger nervously mumbled, closing his door before walking closer to him.  
"Show you what?"  
"You said you're too chubby so I want to see for myself" he replied, pouting a bit as he looked down at him. In a matter of seconds he rose to his feet, looking directly into his boyfriend's eyes.  
"Just because it's you" he whispered and took his hand, placing it on his hips.  
"You can explore on your own" he nervously added, blushing a bit when he felt the younger's grip wander from one side of his hip to the middle of his stomach.  
Gently he let his fingers glide under the fabric, moving it over his smooth skin. Inseong felt embarassed, his cheeks turning even darker with every passing second as the younger carefully let his hand wander over his stomach.  
"I won't change my mind. You're still perfect" he concluded, leaning in closer so he could kiss him.  
"Are you being honest?"   
"I am. I would never lie to you and I've already told you" the younger promised, closing the gap between them and softly kissing him. He continued, letting his fingers wander over his stomach while getting lost in the kiss. This was new to both of them, neither of them really having any idea of what exactly will happen and how they'll do it.   
"Jaeyoon I really like you. Ever since you transferred to our school. Your Busan dialect really got me to be honest" Inseong replied, looking into his eyes before kissing him again.  
"You like my dialect so much?" Jaeyoon teased him, making sure to speak in the heaviest dialect he could.   
"Definitely. You sound so sexy."  
"What about this then?" the younger whispered to him, gently guiding his hand under his shirt. Inseong froze for a second when he felt the muscles on his abdomen, no fat at all only muscles.  
"I have never noticed how muscular you are" Inseong muttered, lifting his shirt up to look at his boyfriends abs.   
"You know that I won't undress myself when you look like that."  
"You don't need to lose weight to impress me. You're already perfect."  
"I just don't feel comfortable" the older admitted, knowing that he completely ruined the mood.  
"If you're not comfortable we can cuddle and watch a drama before you have to go back" Jaeyoon offered, kissing his boyfriend once again before sitting down on his bed.  
"Are you really okay with that?" Inseong asked, the younger nodding at him while pulling him into his lap.  
"Inseong, I really really like you too and I don't want to make any mistake. It would have been a bit rushed if we would have done it?" the younger asked as Inseong blushed a bit, hiding his face in the crook of Jaeyoon's neck.  
"You're probably right. Let's just cuddle for now" he agreed, enjoying simply sitting beside the younger. It wouldn't be easy, not when his parents and society were agaings their relationship, but he was willing to do everything to make it work. Jaeyoon was his safe place, the person who knew almost everything about him and accepted him for being himself. No matter how hard it would get Inseong would definitely try his hardest to prove everyone wrong, he and Jaeyoon were destined to be with each other.


	37. 36

"Chanhee how was school? Have you fought with Seokwoo?" his mother questioned as her son stormed through the door.  
"No I haven't" he grumbled, not feeling in the mood to tell her everything about his day.  
"What happened then? You're everything but happy and you're coming home alone" she carefully asked, trying to get him to talk about everything that was on his mind.  
"Nothing happened. I'm just tired frol studying" he lied, forcing a smile onto his face to make her feel better.  
"See? It was just a rough day and Seokwoo hyung is spending the weekend with his sister."  
"Sorry I was probably overreacting a bit. I'm glad then. Do you want to eat?"  
"No I've ate enough in school and I'm too tired. I'll just go to sleep now eomma" Chanhee replied and let himself he hugged by her, walking down the hallway to the bathroom. He knew exactly that she was just worried about him and feared that he would hurt himself again but still he wasn't ready to talk about all the things bothering him. He felt trapped in his own thoughts and mind, it was like he couldn't be happy for a long time. Everytime he thought things were alright and he felt truly happy something inside of his head told him that it was all fake, that he could never be happy. It was this little voice in his head that told him how worthless he was and that nobody wanted him. It was painful, looking into the mirror everyday with a smile while all the sadness was visible in his eyes.   
He never wanted to cry, he didn't want to be this weak but everytime he stepped under the shower he felt his tears mixing with the water making them invisible to him. The bathroom was his safe place, so many emotions he felt in there and he could remember all of the times the white tiles were red from all of the blood he has lost. It shouldn't have been happy memories but he could only smile when he remembered this feeling of the blades on his wrist, the stinging pain and the dizziness he felt shortly before passing out. It was addictive to him, an addiction he couldn't cure anymore. Whenever his therapists asked him about it he never told them the truth, hiding his scars as best as he could. He was about to grab a new blade from the package when he heard his mother in the kitchen, knowing that he couldn't. She was already suspicious and he didn't want to see another therapist, so he decided against it. He was getting ready for bed, trying to think about other things.  
"Good night Chanhee" his mother called out as she was standing in the hallway, a somewhat sad smile on her face.  
"Good night eomma" he replied, forcing a small smile onto his face before walking into his room. He was just lying down, staring at the dark ceiling when he suddenly hear a soft mew.  
A few seconds later he felt his little kitten walking up to him and curling up on his chest.  
"Has my mother sent you? She's too worried" he mumbled, gently patting the little cat. He didn't know why but somehow he felt calmer whenever the small kitten was with him, snugglikg up to him while purring. Maybe this cat was the best thing that happened to him in a very long time, being able to chase away his bad thoughts by only purring a bit. He was still cuddling with the kitten when he heard his phone buzzing, accepting the call blindly.  
"Hm hello?"  
"Chanhee-yah I'm sorry for calling you so late but I was worried. You looked so absent-mindedly in school today" Seokwoo answered.  
"I was just tired hyun. Don't worry about me" he hummed, smiling when his cat meowed silently, sounding like she still couldn't really do it.  
"I can trust you, right?"  
"Of course you can trust me."  
"Good. I'll better let you go to sleep, you sound tired."  
"I am tired. Sleep well hyung" Chanhee replied, his phone almost falling out of his hand at this point.  
"Sleep well Chanhee-yah. Hyung loves you."  
"I know hyung. I love you too" the younger replied, ending the phone call. There were a lot of things not right in his life but Seokwoo was one of the best things he had. He knew that he couldn't always show or voice it but he truly cherished the older.


	38. 37

The next morning Youngbin was awake early, getting ready for his date with Sanghyuk. He couldn't stop thinking about the way the younger's heart was beating so fast because of him. He never thought he would be the cause of somebody feeling nervous or making someone's heart beat faster. He knew that a lot of things happened in a very short amount of him but he felt like he could trust Sanghyuk. Even after the mistakes Sanghyuk made he still felt himself getting nervous whenever he saw him or thought about him  
and yesterday definitely made him speechless. The way Sanghyuk was looking at him, the things he told them and how sincere he sounded. He may have been naive in the past but it didn't feel like the younger would just mess around with him. So many thoughts were racing through his head and he was almost getting lost into them if it wouldn't have been for Youngkyun barging into his room.  
"Hyung can we talk? About Sanghyuk hyung?" he asked, looking at his brother with a pout.  
"Do you want to warn me about him?" Youngbin questioned as he turned around to look at the younger, surprised when he shook his head.  
"No I've talked with him yesterday and I think he truly likes you. He told me how much you mean to him and how happy he want to make you. He said that he wants to protect you at all costs."  
"Have you told him about it?"  
"No of course not, that's still your part. I just wanted to say that I think you two would be a cute couple."  
"You really think so? I wasn't really sure if he's sincere but it doesn't feel like he's joking around" Youngbin sighed, feeling relieved when he saw Youngkyun shaking his head.  
"He's not joking around hyung. If he's saying that he loves you then he really loves you."  
"Thanks Kyun. You really knew that I needed this now, right?" the older laughed, hugging his brother.  
"So are you ready to go? I'm sire he's already waiting for you.  
"Of course. Have fun on your bro date with Taeyang" Youngbin called after him, smiling to himself when he heard the younger groan.

~

"I need to tell you something" Sanghyuk suddenly blurted out, not being able to keep it to himself any longer as they were taking a walk in the park after eating.  
"Did something happen?" the older asked as he looked up to the younger, still crouching on the ground while looking at the fishes.   
"I know that we've already talked about this but I like you more with every passing day. I truly fell in love with you and I feel the urge to always make you happy and protect you. It's completely new for me but I really want to be your boyfriend" he quickly stammered, feeling his cheeks heavily heat up.  
"Wait you didn't ask me out but just asked me to take you as my boyfriend?" Youngbin confusedly replied, looking at him slightly surprised.  
"I guess I did" Sanghyun chuckled, nervously scratching his neck.  
"Promise me that you're being sincere" Youngbin replied while holding out his pinkie.  
"I, Lee Sanghyuk, promise you, Kim Youngbin, that I'll be a faithful, sincere, loving and caring boyfriend for as long as you can put up with me" the younger promised while connecting their pinkies.  
"Then I'll gladly accept your application for the position as my boyfriend" Youngbin chuckled while getting up, smiling when he wrapped his arms around Sanghyuk's neck.   
"I'm glad then" he spoke, leaning his forehead against the older's, his skin tingling at the contact. He couldn't have been any happier than right now, finally knowing how people felt when they said they were madly in love. He could finally feel how it felt to actually be loved by someone, to have someone by his side he could count on and help him through hard times.  
"Sanghyuk-ah, there's still something I need to tell you. Can we drive back to your house?" Youngbin asked, his smile falling a bit as he made eye contact with the younger.


	39. 38

"Sanghyuk-ah, there's something I want to tell you about. I want you to know before you decide if you still want to date me. I don't know if you're ready for it but I don't want you to be my boyfriend without knowing about this. I don't want you to be disgusted" Youngbin said as he sat in front of Sanghyuk, the younger's smile falling as he looked at the boy he deeply fell in love with.  
"I could never be" it was hard for him to get it out " disgusted of you." He never once thought about the older like that and he was sure nothing could change that.  
"It happened a few years ago. It's about my first boyfriend, his name was Hajoon, he was a few years older than me. He was a narcissist, I only found out about that a long time after we first met. I don't want to talk too much about him or how we met, I just want to say that I was really happy at first. He seemed to understand me, there weren't many people like me in our neighborhood so it felt really good to finally have a boyfriend. Hajoon was a very sweet person, at first, he would always bring me food, fetch me from school and drive me everywhere I wanted. He allowed me to drink, to do everything my parents would never allow me. He always made sure that whatever we did was by mutual consent. He didn't force me into anything, he gave me time until I was ready. I thought we would spend the rest of our lives together" the older reminisced, making Sanghyuk feel a bit uneasy, as if he would be the third wheel.  
"I never thought he was mentally ill, I never thought he would lie to me. I first found out about it when he didn't know I was near, talking to one of his friends on the phone. He told him how easy it was for him to make me fall in love with him. He told his friends about everything we did, how we did and how I reacted. Whenever he thought I wasn't around he told them at how pathetic I was, how much he hated to look at my face. At first he only told them without me knowing anything about it. It didn't take long for him to say those things to my face, he used every chance he got to remind me of how much better he looked. He always told me that I would never be pretty or good enough for someone to truly love me. I believed him, I had nobody else to tell me the contrary so I thought he was right. I never felt truly happy about myself even before meeting him, he made my worries turn into hatred towards myself. He told me that no matter how much makeup I used or at how many times I'll change my hair color, the result will still be the same. I started becoming even more self-conscious, every time we went drinking with his friends I'd drink so much until I couldn't remember anything. We continued like this for a few months, I'd stop talking with my parens and Youngkyun and spend most of my time with Hajoon. I thought this is how it would be for me, I deserved it and made sure to always be there whenever he needed me. There was one day I drank until I was completely drunk, resulting in Hajoon almost carrying me home. I was drunk but I wasn't drunk enough to forget about everything. Whenever he drank something he was very aroused, every time we went out to drink it resulted in us sleeping with each other. It was close to my exams so I spent most days studying, I haven't been sleeping for days so I was tired and not in the mood to sleep with him. I told him and he said it's alright. He asked me if I didn't love him anymore because I haven't kissed him once that day, I was young and naive, I thought I truly loved him. I gave in and started making out with him, he used this to try and sleep with me. I was too tired and didn't feel like it so he got angry at me, he started undressing me, not listening to my complaints. He didn't care about my already aching body, he didn't care about my pleas. He just wanted his own pleasure. I yelled at him but he just slapped me, silencing me before he started undressing himself. I was scared, too scared of saying something and too scared to open my eyes. I just lay there and waited for him to finish what he started. He hurt me a lot, he just used me like he would use any toy. After all I was his toy all along, nothing more" he said, tears rolling down his face as he remembered this incident. He wanted to be strong but he couldn't, sobs wrecking his body as it all felt so real again.  
"I'm here. I won't leave you. Never" Sanghyuk mumbled as he embraced him, gently stroking his hair and back while letting him cry.  
"Sanghyuk-ah I'm not worth it. Even my father left. I told him because I was so scared and hurt but he just left me, disowned me for letting Hajoon touch me like that."  
"Have you reported him to the police? He raped you" the younger exclaimed, angering him. How could anybody do something like that to him?  
"No of course not. They wouldn't believe me. They don't even believe most girls so why would they believe me?"  
"So he's still out there?" he asked and Youngbin only nodded, feeling safe and protected in Sanghyuk's embrace.


	40. 39

"Youngbin I know that it's not easy but even now after you told me everything my feelings for you haven't changed. I really like you and I still want to be your boyfriend."  
"This wasn't everything Sanghyuk-ah" he sighed, trying to shift away as more tears welled up in his eyes.  
"Then tell me the rest if you feel comfortable about it."  
"So after he did that, he realized what he had done. I passed out a few minutes after that, only waking up the next morning still feeling dizzy. I saw the mess, how much blood I have lost. I got scared by it and thought about going to the hospital but I wasn't ready to tell them what had happened. Hajoon was as usual, he drove me home after I begged him. I thought about telling Youngkyun or my mother but I feared that something would happen to Hajoon, I still thought I loved him. After that we met up for a few times and he always forced me into it before he dumped me, telling me I wasn't good enough anymore. He told me I was only good enough for having sex but I disappointed him and I was boring. I accepted it and went back home. I felt so devastated that I needed someone to talk, but Youngkyun was still so young. I told my mother but my father stormed in, hearing what I told her. He was furious, he abandoned me and left us. It was my fault that my father left us, I was too weak as he said. I wasn't strong enough to protect me from him, I was only a mere disappointment. I hurt everyone in the family, my parents and Youngkyun. He was always there for me during those times and I sometimes feel like he suffers even more than me. I ruined their lives, not being the son they wanted. I always looked up to my father, always wanting to be like him. Whenever he went out with me I was so happy, I wanted to be a father just like him until I realized how different I was."  
"Stop saying such things" Sanghyuk whispered, gently wiping away his tears.  
"I don't know your father but he couldn't have been that great if he left you while you were suffering. You trusted your parents and your father disappointed you. He should have been there for you, after all you're his son."  
"I still blame myself for all of it. If I would have been stronger I could have stopped Hajoon from hurting me like that."  
"That's nonsense. You are so much stronger than I could ever be. The things you've already went through make you the strongest person I know. Even if it sounds stupid but I would be honored to be the one being by your side and watching you become even stronger."  
"I don't understand you Sanghyuk. How can you still want me after all of this? I don't deserve your love" Youngbin sighed, gasping when he felt the younger lift up his chin.  
"You do deserve everything. Getting raped isn't something to be ashamed of, the person doing it should be ashamed of hurting someone physically and mentally. I fell in love with you and yes even after you told me all of this I still feel the same. Inseong hyung has talked about Soulmates so many times and I never thought something like that existed but then I met you" Sanghyuk smiled, leaning in a bit closer.  
"What do you mean?"  
"I think that you're my soulmate, that's why I fell so quickly and easily for you. It's the only logical explanation since I never was in love before. You're everything I need in my life."  
"You t-think I am your soulmate?" Youngbin stuttered in shock, not sire if he heard it right.  
"Yes I think that you, Kim Youngbin, am my soulmate" Sanghyuk replied with such a sweet smile it made Youngbin almost cry. He could hear his heart beating, the blood rushing through his ears before he leaned in to kiss the younger, showing him how much love he felt for him.  
"So that was a 'Yes I also think you're my soulmate'?" the younger asked, blushing a bit.  
"Yes it definitely was" Youngbin chuckled before kissing him again.


	41. 40

"Do you want to watch another movie?" Sanghyuk asked as he nuzzled his head closer to Youngbin's ear, his legs wrapped around his waist as the older was leaning against his chest.  
"You can decide" the older mumbled, smiling when he felt him softly kissing his neck. He knew it wasn't anything sexual, it was a habit of Sanghyuk whenever they were alone. Sanghyuk was very clingy when it was only the two of them, it pleasantly surprised Youngbin at first but he came to love this habit.  
"Do you want to go to sleep?" Sanghyuk muttered against his neck, his arms tightening over his torso.  
"You want to sleep?" Youngbin chuckled, tilting his head a bit to catch a glimpse of his boyfriend.  
"No I want to cuddle with you, kiss a little and make sure to never let go of you."  
"Doesn't sound bad" the older agreed, taking the remote to turn off the TV. Smiling he turned around a little so he was clearly seeing the younger, his hand gently caressing his cheek.  
"Sanghyuk-ah I love you, I want to prove it to you" the older whispered while leaning in closer, a sparkle visible in his eyes before he closed them, kissing his lover gently.  
"Don't prove me anything, I know how you feel about me" Sanghyuk whispered against his lips, placing a few pecks there before pulling away a bit to look at him. Sanghyuk could never get enough from looking at his lover, he loved his slightly uneven eyelids, the way his lips curved up into a small smile and the way his cheeks turned one shade darker every time he studied his face. He was completely mesmerized by his boyfriend, he couldn't understand how his ex could treat him like that, he did deserve everything good the world had to offer.  
"Let me rephrase that. I want to show you how much I truly love you, Lee Sanghyuk. I want to show you that I love you with all of my heart, my mind, my body and my soul. I want to feel you closer, want to be yours only and want to feel your love."  
"I'm completely yours, Youngbin-ah. I love you so much" the younger murmured, his hand moving onto the older's side holding onto him. The room was dimly lit but he still could see him perfectly, his brown eyes reminding him of liquid chocolate as he found himself getting lost in them again.   
"You make me the happiest person on this earth. Please never change" Youngbin muttered, only wanting to make good memories from now on.   
"I'll do my best but I can promise you one thing. I could never, ever hurt you. I'd rather die than hurting you."  
"You talk too much Sanghyuk" the older chuckled, turning completely around and straddling him.   
"How about I'll just watch then?" he suggested, not being able to hold himself back from peppering pecks all over his face.  
"Stay still" Youngbin chuckled, softly pushing him away a bit.   
"Lee Sanghyuk I want you to know that I consent to everything that will happen this evening, no matter if it's cuddling, kissing or any sexual activities. What about you?"   
"You're so damn perfect Youngbin-ah. I want the whole world to know how proud I am to have you as my boyfriend. I consent to everything, you can do whatever you want today. I'm all yours" the younger spoke, feeling teary-eyed as the older looked at him with so much love.  
"Don't cry baby" Youngbin whispered, gently running his thumb under his eye, not wanting to see him cry.  
"They are happy tears. I can't tell you how happy you make me."  
"I just give back everything you make me feel. You're incredible Sanghyuk, thank you for loving me" slowly he leaned in, stopping when he felt the youngers breath against his lips, savoring the moment. It was only a short moment before he closed the gap between them, their lips creating a slow and steady rhythm as Youngbin's hands moved from Sanghyuk's neck to his shoulder steadying himself. He could only hear their breathing, feel how close Sanghyuk held him and the cologne he loved so much on the younger. To him it was perfect, just the two of them together without anyone interrupting their privacy. Contently he pulled away, kissing along the older's jawline as he inhaled deeply, nuzzling his nose into the crook of his neck.  
"I love this cologne so much on you" he whispered, emphasizing his point by kissing the exact spot he wore it.  
"It's my favorite."  
Smiling the older sat up again, leisurely taking off his sweater. He still had moments when he felt insecure but seeing Sanghyuk's small smile and his hands moving almost immediately to hold onto him made his worries quickly fade.  
"You're so beautiful" Sanghyuk cooed, his finger tracing over every letter inked into his side.  
Sanghyuk's heart was beating so much faster in this moment, he felt truly happy as he saw how much trust Youngbin had in him. He knew that this was where he belonged and where he wanted to spend the rest of his life, being by Youngbin's side. He took a deep breath, regaining all of his senses to feel his boyfriend playing with the hair on his nape. He closed his eyes and inhaled, both scents of their colognes mixing together perfectly as he leaned in to kiss him again. He heard it clearly, not only his breathing getting heavier as he repositioned them. He was gently, almost as if Youngbin was a porcelain doll threatening to break any second, taking his time as he laid him down onto his bed.   
"Take it off, you must be hot" the older spoke as he tugged a bit on his heavy sweater. Sanghyuk felt as if time had stopped, everything seemed so slow and perfectly calculated almost as if everything was destined to happen exactly in this way. He always forgot about time and space when he was with his lover, pulling off his sweater without any hurry.   
"You're perfect Sanghyuk. So toned" Youngbin spoke, a smile playing on his lips as he reached up to caress his abdominal muscles.   
"I like you so much, I can't tell you often enough."  
"You're still talking too much. Do you really want to tease me so much?"  
"I just want this moment to last longer before we have to put up with our annoyingly lovely friends again" Sanghyuk chuckled, gently nudging the older's side.  
"Don't I'm ticklish" he complained, a bright smile lighting up his whole face as he pulled his younger lover's leg away, resulting in him falling down on top of him.   
"Do you want to be in charge today?" the younger suddenly asked, smiling at his seemingly confused boyfriend.  
"You can't stop teasing me, right? You really want to take your time today" the older chuckled, pressing a kiss against his boyfriends lips.  
"I'm serious. It would be something new and exciting for both of us."  
"Baby are you really sure? I don't want to hurt you" the older worriedly asked, brushing his lovers bangs out of his eyes.  
"I've thought about it and I want to try. I trust you and I know you'll take good care of me" Sanghyuk said with such a confidence that Youngbin felt a stray tear roll down his cheek.  
"Thank you Sanghyuk. You never fail to surprise me."  
"Kim Youngbin, I've told you before that I'm all yours. Make me yours only" the younger breathed out, gasping when he felt himself being turned over, Youngbin smiling down at him.   
"We have the whole evening, I'll make sure to take things as slow as possible" he replied as his fingers danced over his stomach. Sanghyuk was nervous but he knew nothing he didn't want would happen, still he couldn't suppress the goosebumps forming all over his skin.   
"Relax, I won't hurt you" Youngbin mumbled, gently massaging his tensed shoulders. It took a few more moments for the younger to relax a little, letting his head fall into the pillows behind him. Once again time seemed to stop despite their actions never stopping, a whole new world opening up to Sanghyuk. Youngbin kept his promise, taking his time and making sure his younger boyfriend still consented and relaxed enough in order not to get hurt. He was careful, gentle and always made sure to check up on him, slowly helping him to get used to this kind of pain. Endless whispers of the word I love you filled the room, distracting kisses were exchanged and they both knew that this was perfect. Sanghyuk once again teared up, not due to the pain but to see a completely different side of his boyfriend,a completely different version of the boy he got to know so well in such a short amount of time.   
"Don't cry" he once again whispered so affectionately, reminding him that this was still his caring boyfriend, his sweet, sweet Youngbin. He never would admit it but it felt good to be taken care of like this, to completely trust, relax and give yourself to somebody. Youngbin promised him to never hurt him and even know Sanghyuk could trust him, letting himself be guided by the older and experiencing this new form of pleasure. Not only the younger was experiencing something completely new, Youngbin has never felt what it meant to take care of your partner. He did his best, knowing exactly how painful it all can be. After a few tries of distracting his lover he found out that a gentle shoulder massage worked the best, feeling his tension slowly fade. He never experienced the luxury of having so much time only for him and his boyfriend, making sure to use every single second. He was about to end all of this when he heard the first pained whine from Sanghyuk, immediately freezing in his movements.  
"Let's stop, maybe it wasn't the best idea" he spoke, not wanting to hurt him at all costs.  
"No just give me some time. I want you so badly. Please Bin-ah."  
Bin, this nickname was his weakness. No matter what situation, hearing Sanghyuk calling him Bin-ah always got to him, he just couldn't explain it. His beautiful, powerful Sanghyuk, the love of his life.   
"I'm ready love" the younger called out and it filled the older with pride, being called as his love. Youngbin knew that Sanghyuk wasn't the most romantic person on this earth but it was enough for him, small moments like that making him  
realize how lucky he truly was.   
Sanghyuk knew it was the right decision, seeing his boyfriend controlling everything and taking care of him. He wasn't self-conscious, troubled or hurt, it was then that he realized that this was the person he never met before, the person he used to be before being abused and broken. It wasn't a new version of his boyfriend, it was his original version but this time stronger than before. Sanghyuk could feel his confidence building up with every second and he never wanted to see his old self again. He understood what Youngkyun told him, about the person his brother used to be and now he could finally meet this person.  
Not only he saw the change but also Youngbin saw the change in Sanghyuk. He could finally put down the façade he put up in order not to get hurt, showing his vulnerable and sensitive side. This night they fell even more in love with each other and themselves, it was like a transformation back to their pure and healed selfs but still themselves. The scars of growing up slowly fading to make them glow more than before. When time seemed to tick again they cuddled even closer, enjoying the other's embrace and the magical moment they created.  
"What are you thinking about?" Youngbin asked as Sanghyuk wrapped his arms around his torso, resting his head on his shoulder.  
"I'm constantly thinking about you. I see it now, who you truly are."  
"I do too Sanghyuk-ah. You aren't like the other's see you. You're so much more."  
"My sweet Youngbin, I can't stop falling more and more in love with you. You're everything I need."  
"I feel like we were destined to meet Hyuk-ah. We both were hurt in the past but now the wounds are healing, only leaving a little scar. It has changed us but we're still the same, I feel the happiest when I'm with you without any reason. If soulmates truly exist then I'm sure you are mine" Youngbin replied, turning in his boyfriends embrace before gently kissing him.  
"I know for sure that you are my soulmate. I can't wait to see you grow old with me. I feel so happy seeing you smile like this."  
"Thanks to you I can forget about my past. You helped me to start a new chapter in my life and you'll be with me until my story ends."


End file.
